The No-Dessert Diet

My love for words and my love for sweets were fused into one through our wedding cake.

For starters, lactating women are not encouraged to go on a diet. But it's also because of breastfeeding that the no-dessert diet came into fruition (no pun intended). I tried to limit my sugar intake while I was pregnant with Bambam because my OB said as I should keep my second baby's  birth weight at 2.8 kg (Thirdy's birth weight) and below. Anything higher than that might give me a difficult delivery. I didn't want a big baby (the bigger baby, the more painful the delivery), so I took her advice seriously. I told myself just I'll make up to my sweet tooth after giving birth. So after my delivery, I dove into sweet treats without any limit. Then, Bambam started making weird sleeping sounds 3 days after birth. The pedia said it could be gas and acid caused by my diet, so I should cut back on eating chocolates because I am exclusively breastfeeding.

I would do anything for my daughter, so I stopped eating chocolates. But I was still into cakes and candies and halo-halo and all sorts of desserts. Then, two weeks ago, my sister-in-law celebrated her birthday. I ate some chocolate cake, and it left such a lingering saccharinous taste in my mouth even with several gulps of water. It made me want to vomit. That's when I decided not to eat desserts for awhile. What drove me to be firm was what our family friend said who died recently because of ovarian cancer. She said we have to cut back on sugar because it causes cancer.

So, I tried to steer clear of anything sweet for a week as an experiment. This was no easy feat because my taste buds have always had strong inclination for sugary treats. I have a separate stomach just for desserts. I usually head to the dessert table first during parties. I would eat a slice of cake, lick some ice cream, splash at the chocolate fountain, and I'm good to go.

But you know what? After a week of not eating anything sugar-coated, my tongue felt clean. You know that satisfying and wonderful feeling you have in your mouth after you have brushed your teeth? Yes, it felt that way minus the minty aftertaste. So, I decided to extend the no-dessert diet until maybe I give in. Another thing I noticed was that I slept better and longer, too. I think it helped that Bam's already on her second month and she now has longer sleeping hours at night. Her weird sleeping noise has also toned down a bit. One thing's for sure, I feel that because I am more well-rested, I now have more energy to take care of my children during daytime.

I'll almost be finishing my second week of no-dessert diet, and I am hoping that I could extend it for a month just to see the effect on my body. Of course, I still have my sugar fix but I only get it from fruits. Here's an article about the benefits of limiting one's sugar intake:
https://www.prevention.com/health/what-happens-when-you-stop-eating-sugar

I hope someday, I could also try the no-potato chips diet or the no-fastfood diet (I love my Jollibee). For now, let's see if I could stick with the no-dessert diet for a month. Wish me luck!

On Infant Piercing

It is a quota for us - we now have a boy and a girl. Along with parenting both sexes, we are also asked to make decisions based on conventional expectations. 

When we had Thirdy, of course it was just natural for us to ask our pediatrician about having him circumcised. She suggested that we wait until he is older because it is going to be a pitiful sight once the procedure is done (his penis will turn tomato red). Being dutiful parents, we agreed. I don't have qualms about this because it's just a foreskin and the world will not end if we wait for 12-13 more years.

As for our little girl, on her 2nd month check-up I was asked if I would like to have her ears pierced (naturally, because she's a girl).

Like circumcision, I think this will have to wait. I would like her to get it once she gets her period. I want it to be like a rite of passage, something to look forward to once she hits puberty and also something to look backward to once it passes. I can imagine how it's going to be like once she gets her menarche: her Dada will give her a bouquet of roses and her older brother will give her a box of chocolates. Flowers to remind her of her femininity and chocolates to remind her that it's going to become her best friend every time Aunt Flo visits her. I will take her out on her first trip to the salon for a mani-pedi combo and a haircut to remind her that she's a woman now and it's alright to have womanly desires of being pampered (courtesy of Dada). Then, we'll get her ears pierced! This is to remind her that vanity is a woman's middle name, and it's alright to want to look good. I want her to be excited about it just to quell her fear that it's going to be painful. The pair of stud earrings will be of her own choice (no skulls or snake design, I hope). Then, afterwards her Dada and I will sit down with her to talk about the birds and the bees. It's really all about getting her period and getting her ears pierced will just be the icing on the cake. 

... So, I said no to our pedia. Piercing will have to wait. 

Why am I making such a big deal out of this, you may ask. I think our daughters' first periods are worth celebrating. It is an occasion for us to talk about fertility, childbirth, hygiene, choices, and the facts of life without sugarcoating anything. It is an occasion to tell them that as women, we are fragile yet strong enough to withstand labor and childbirth. It is the right time to tell them that our cycles are there to remind us every month that we take respite from the daily conundrums of life and listen to our bodies, too. It's the best time to teach them that getting one's period is more than just about buying sanitary pads every month and blood leaking from the secret folds of their bodies. It is a time of gentle reminders that their bodies are their own and no one has the right to touch them through hugs and kisses no matter how innocent and without their consent. And it is the perfect time to tell them that they are fine despite the many physical changes that go with puberty. 

Perhaps, I still have 13 years to go until Bambam's 1st period. For now, I will just have to contentedly enjoy her baby smell and warmth. No rushing in wanting her to be a teenager. That will have to wait. 

Give Until It Hurts

I gave away all my children's books except for this Newbery awardee collection. I just couldn't seem to part with it.

I heard once in a homily that when you give something, it has to make you feel that you have sacrificed something. In short, it has to hurt. The essence of giving is you're supposed to feel empty after letting go of a possession. It's not sincere when you don't feel an inner ouch when you give away your favorite dress for a fire victim or your last Php100 for a beggar.

Over the years, I have given away my things for convenient reasons like "I no longer need them" and "It's better to give than throw them away." So, you see, I didn't really feel any hurt when I gave my things away. In fact, my most prized possessions which were my books then were all given away after I gave birth to Thirdy. They were eating so much space in the bedroom, and I no longer read them so I gave them all away. I wrote about it here (http://angmaestra.blogspot.com/2015/09/letting-go.html).

I still managed to use the books as props for Thirdy's photo session before I parted with them.

I gave away those books, but my children's book collection was untouched. I still had one full shelf of it. But when I got pregnant with Bambam, I knew I had to give them away, too. Our small apartment had to accommodate a crib again and a few baby and toddler stuff. So we decided that we'll donate the books to my mother's high school alma mater in Duenas. I was at first hesitant of doing that because I wanted to give away the books to my college students under my last advisory class. I wasn't able to say a proper goodbye to them when I resigned, so giving away a book for each student complete with a personalized dedication was my way of making up to them. The de-cluttering of our apartment to make way for a newborn again ate our time, however, so I went along with the plan of just donating them instead. I didn't feel any pain of letting my babies go.

Shoutout to Prof. Dumagpi for introducing us to Newbery awardee books

I learned to appreciate children's books in graduate school. Thanks, Prof. Dumagpi

I gave birth to Bambam soon after that, and life with a newborn and a toddler went on. Then, one time I was changing my daughter's nappy (for the nth time) when I remembered those books and out of nowhere, I was washed with a sudden wave of sadness. It's a kind of sadness that I couldn't seem quite to put my finger on. It was a combination of regret, longing, and just plain homemade sadness. It's that kind of feeling after breaking up with your lover - you'd want to talk to him/her but then you realized you can no longer do that because you called it quits already. Just as it came to me swiftly, that profound sense of sadness also left me just as suddenly. If you're a mom of two, you know you can no longer dwell on negative things, so I brushed my sadness aside. But before it left, it punched me deep on the chest that for the whole day, I could literally see myself walking with a hollow circle on that part of my body.

Don't get me wrong. It was not post-partum depression (I can recognize PPD from afar). It's just that every time I remember those books now, I'd feel that sadness all over again. All is not lost, however. I still have my one box of Newbery awardee collection. I just couldn't seem to part with it, and I was saving the books for Thirdy and Bam.

I hope he'll grow up to be a reader, too.

I think the main reason why I felt that long overdue sadness was because those books were not just books. They were part of my identity as a high school teacher then. It was Teacher Van who forced the 7th graders to have a book report once every two weeks. The books were also carefully chosen. Those books meant time for me - lazy weekends spent on browsing those books at Booksale. And of course it also meant money. From my meager income as a teacher, I paid for them. I think it also hurt because I do not know the recipient of my books. It feels like I just gave away a part who I am to total strangers.

I am saving the Newbery books for these two.

Parting with those books hurt. I just didn't feel the blow right away (only 3 months after). To ease my sadness, I started reading the books from the Newbery collection again. My only consolation is that because I felt that pain after giving away my books, maybe my soul will earn some brownie points in heaven?

All-time favorite of my high school students

It's a good thing I didn't give you away.

Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster

Lemme check whatever's inside that tiny mouth of yours.

All along, I thought I have prepared Thirdy for the arrival of his little sister. The day before I gave birth, he had been having fever for three days and his gums were bleeding. I brought him to his pediatrician and I was told that if the fever persisted, I should have his blood checked. His fever subsided the next day but my water also broke, so that meant leaving him for 3 days and 2 nights. It was the first time that he would sleep without Mama by his side and to be left with someone else for that long a time. 

REGRESSION

I should have taken that fever and bleeding gums as a sign. I was not due for two more weeks, but I have read later that older siblings usually get sick as a coping mechanism of the new sibling's presence. Perhaps Thirdy felt that he will no longer be the apple of everyone's eyes sooner than expected that's why he got sick? 

When he met his sister for the first time, he cried. I tried my best to still be the kind of Mama for him before Bambam came but that proved impossible. The sleepless nights alone could turn a mother into a zombie - a sensitive and irritable (ugly and smelly) zombie . His Dada had to take over in meeting his needs. Little accidents like wetting his pants became a common scenario. He would also cry in the middle of the night to look for me. During the first week after we brought Bambam home, I was losing more sleep because of this than because of the newborn's erratic feeding schedule. I was wondering in frustration whether my sleep and toilet training him had all gone to waste. Every time I would carry Bambam, he would also cry out to be carried. He refused to touch Bambam or have anything to do with her. 

"That's my pillow you're using!"

"But you can have the dede. I'm done with the dede."

But on Bambam's third week, he started to loosen up. Now, when Bambam cries, I would tell him that I need to attend to her first. He would say, "Ok." He also agrees to have his picture taken with her, and he also now touches her with affection.

"Don't we just look good together?"

It's not all that rosy everyday yet. Thirdy is up to his toddler dramas anytime of the day and Bambam still keeps me awake all night. But I'm fine like a zombie. Sometimes, I can't wait for them to grow up. I do hope they'll grow up as best friends. 

She ain't heavy, she's my sister

She's Here!

You warm my heart, You bless my soul.

My point of reference was my first pregnancy. Because my labor was long and arduous during my first pregnancy, I thought the second time will be the same. It turns out that every pregnancy, labor and delivery will always be unique. My second delivery caught me by surprise. Where my first I had to endure 16 hours of labor and contractions which built to a steady rhythm that gradually intensified, this time it was only 8 hours of labor with powerful contractions that made me scream like a madwoman. What was written in the baby book came true for me -- the second pregnancy will not be easier nor less painful but it will be shorter.

Everything happened so fast. Before I could be dressed and prepared at the delivery table, Baby Bambam just popped. I didn't even need to push (Baby Bambam did all the pushing). When she was handed to me, my first words to no one in particular was, "That was so fast!"

She's fast indeedy. Born at only 37 weeks (Thirdy was born at exactly my due date of 40 weeks!), she latched right away and we were immediately sent back to our room 3 hours after delivery.

I am thankful for the love and prayers of my loved ones. Cheers to you, my darling daughter!

Big Bro Thirdy

These days, I feel like I am racing against time. With barely a month left before our second child comes, I feel pressured to prepare our firstborn, Thirdy for his little sister's arrival. When I learned that I was pregnant with Baby # 2, my first concern was Thirdy. I thought that he was still very much a baby himself (he was 21-months-old when I got pregnant) and that I might not be able to give him the care and attention he deserves once his sibling comes out. Also, since he'll only be 2 1/2 when baby girl comes, I know he'll still be clingy and possessive of me. 

After February 11th, I will now be taking care of a toddler and a newborn and this is going to be the greatest challenge for me as a mother just yet. So, I decided to take some steps to finally let Thirdy be independent and become the big brother that he should be for his little sis. There were three things that I wanted to happen: 1) wean him from breastfeeding, 2) let him sleep on his own, and 3) toilet train him.

1) Weaning from Breastfeeding

I would have wanted to still breastfeed Thirdy at least until he wanted to stop. He was actually showing signs of weaning on his own by only breastfeeding from me when he wanted to sleep. I consulted my OB-Gyne about this, and I was told point-blank that I should already stop because he was just using me as a pacifier. I have done my research, and I know that it is still safe for some women to breastfeed in the course of a pregnancy. And I wasn't pacifying; I was Mommying! Although I didn't agree wholeheartedly with what my OB told me, I also knew that it was just the right time to wean him. Besides, I did not think that I could handle tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn. 

So after Thirdy turned 2-years-old, I stopped breastfeeding him before sleeping time. I substituted it with rocking until he would doze off. This was fine because before sleeping time, I would still have enough strength to carry and sing him to sleep, but he had this habit of still waking up in the middle of his sleep and he would only go back to dreamland once he had latched. Giving him the boob again would not help us in weaning, so I would stand up and rock him back to sleep. You can just imagine how exhausting this was because he would wake up not once but 4 to 5 times in one night and the pregnancy hormones were messing up with my endurance, too. There were times, when I gave in and just let him have the boob, but it meant going back to zero. So, I tried really hard to be consistent by just rocking him when he wanted the dede. After a month, he was totally weaned. 

I think it helped that he knew he was going to be a big brother soon. I explained that the dede will be for his younger sib. These days, when I ask him if he wants to dede, he would shake his head and say, "Indi lang. Baby Bambam lang." 

Goodbye, Dede! Thanks for the 2 wonderful years of breastfeeding!

2) Sleep Training

I co-slept with Thirdy since he was born, so he would never go to sleep without me by his side. We have also been rocking him to sleep, so he'll ask for it before bedtime, and because I substituted breastfeeding with rocking, this literally became such a pain in my neck and my back. 

When I turned 8 months pregnant, I decided to put my foot down and refused rocking him to sleep. This was met with bitter cries that would last for almost an hour until he would become exhausted. He would then snuggle beside me and just sleep on his own. Among the three things I wanted to happen, this was the shortest but also the toughest. His cries were awful and it was heartbreaking to see him begging for the kungkung. Again, consistency was the key here. After 2 weeks of ignoring his protests and putting up with his tears (and praying that the neighbors will just sleep through the noise), he was finally able to sleep on his own. This was also with the help of a bedtime routine: bath time, story time, lights off, and back rub (in that order). 

He's a tiny human bridge here - still very much attached to his parents' bed and embracing independence, too by sleeping on his own bed.

We finally bought him his own bed (which is just a sofabed). We still do the bedtime routine, but when Baby Bambam comes, his Dad will have to do it together with him. 

Borrowing Bambam's pillows and blanket

3) Toilet Training

Among the three things I wanted to happen, this is the one I am most proud of. With another baby on the way, I just do not think it practical for us to spend on diapers. We were already trying to save by using cloth diapers, but nighttime sleeping and occasional going-outs still meant disposable diapers. So, I told myself that I should toilet-train Thirdy before Bambam comes. It's not impossible because another toddler in Thirdy's playgroup was toilet-trained at 1 1/2. I have also read about Natural Infant Hygiene (NIH) where babies can actually be toilet-trained by 6 months old!

The little guy who's adoringly looking at me was toilet-trained before he turned 2. 

Toilet-training took me some time. I knew he was ready when he started telling me that he had pooped in his nappies. We bought his potty September last year, but he didn't want to sit on it, so I didn't force him. He only warmed up to his potty last December. What I did was I let him use an underwear instead of a diaper. This was to make him feel uncomfortable when he would pee or poo. There were accidents, of course but this was to be expected and one must be very patient in washing the toddler and wiping the floor. I felt like a broken record in repeatedly reminding Thirdy that pee and poo from now on will go to the potty. It paid off. He now tells me when he needs to go. We're diaper-free during daytime, and we're on our way to making nighttime diaper-free, too. 

Pooping while unwrapping a Christmas gift. Yep, somebody gave him a gun. 

This book about potty training helped, too!

Nothing can really prepare you for motherhood especially when the babies start popping. But when your survival and sanity are at risk (I don't think I am exaggerating here), you won't have a choice but to start preparing. Thirdy and Baby Bambam, I'm ready for you!

The Story of This Dress

I like going to the market near our HDB. There are two grocery stores there -- Fair Price and Prime. There is also a hawker center, a homeware store, and a fruit and vegetable stall where you can haggle with the owner. But what I particularly like is when they sell clothes at the market's center, which they don't do everyday. It reminds me of the market back home in Pinas, where you can buy underthings and children's clothes of good quality for a cheap price. 

So this one particular day, I had just finished buying fish from Prime. With still some money left and the clothing market on schedule that day AND my toddler asleep on his stroller, I was looking forward to peacefully 'shop' around for a dress. One dress caught my eye. It reminded me of my favorite maternity dress which someone stole when I left it to hang overnight outside our apartment. 

On my 3rd month of pregnancy here. I so love the paisley design of this dress. Somebody must have liked it, too because it got stolen.

So imagine my delight when I saw a similar dress which was only 8 SGD (P240). The stolen one cost me 10 SGD (P300). I immediately bought the dress. 

Yes, this dress! Never mind our kissykissy faces and my husband's awkward pose. 

The flower design is *heart*

Anyhoo, after buying the lovely clothing, I spied another maternity dress which could double as a breastfeeding dress. It was from the same makeshift stall, but for 15 SGD, I thought it was quite expensive. I stayed around and asked the owner for other colors (just to buy time) - the dress came in purple, pink, brown, and others which I can no longer recall now. I thought the brown one would especially go well with my brown sandals, but alas, my money was not enough. I had 10 dollars, so I checked my coin purse for some change which I prayerfully counted would at least reach 5 dollars. But I only had 3 dollars. I went back to the owner and haggled. I told her I bought one dress from her already and will buy another one, so could I at least be given a discount? She said, "Alright. 14 dollars for you." 

I was still 1 dollar short. But I wasn't just about to give up. I looked around for some Pinays or for some good Samaritan who might want to take pity on a pregnant woman and lend her a dollar. But it was almost 12 noon that time, and market goers were thinning in number. I thought of going home instead, get the blasted dollar, and go back to the market which will take me about 10 minutes if I do my fast pregnant waddle. 

Instead of going home, I decided to sit by the corner and rummaged around my bag hoping that I could at least find a dollar tucked somewhere in its several pockets. But there was none. So again, I counted my coins by dumping the whole contents of my wallet on the skirt of my dress. I managed to scrimp 13.70 dollars only. The heat and the agitation to hopefully clinch 14 dollars made me sweat profusely. There I was on my 6th month of pregnancy, counting pennies on a market's corner with a sleeping toddler that after awhile it dawned on me that I probably looked comically desperate. I thought that maybe it's best that I should just go home and get that sorry dollar. So, I went back to the owner and asked what time she'll be closing up (they don't stay in the afternoon). She was with a customer, so she didn't answer me right away. I asked loudly the second time, and she turned around to ask me, "How much do you have?" I replied that I only have 13.70 dollars. She immediately wrapped the dress and told me, "Ok, I'll give this to you, but next time, buy from me again." I felt like hugging her. I believe now that she took pity on the poor pregnant housewife who was at the same time saddled with a toddler (waking up from dreamland by that time) -- ME! When I gave her my 13.70 dollars which all came in coins, she exclaimed, "Whoah! So many 50 cents!" I grabbed the dress right away before she could change her mind. My husband told me later that most Singaporeans find 50 cents as useless already, thus the reaction from the owner. 

When I got home, I tried on the dress (I couldn't try it in the market because there was no changing room) and realized that I didn't like the brown color. The knitted flowers on the chest actually looks like I have several nipples. I think my take-away from the experience is that I shouldn't get too desperate over something. I actually found a similar dress displayed in one of the boutiques in Iloilo (but I didn't dare go inside to ask for the price anymore). I eventually wore the dress for my maternity photoshoot. I may not like the color, but I think it's still worth every scrimped penny.

So... that's the story behind that dress. My husband and I had a good laugh over that experience.

And here are some of pictures from my maternity photoshoot featuring none other than the 13.70 SGD dress! 

Photos were taken by Steve Francis Quiatchion. 

#bigbroThirdy

Our family has so many things to look forward to this year. Dear reader, here's hoping that you'll also have many things to look forward to this 2018! Cheers from angmaestra.blogspot.com