It is a quota for us - we now have a boy and a girl. Along with parenting both sexes, we are also asked to make decisions based on conventional expectations.
When we had Thirdy, of course it was just natural for us to ask our pediatrician about having him circumcised. She suggested that we wait until he is older because it is going to be a pitiful sight once the procedure is done (his penis will turn tomato red). Being dutiful parents, we agreed. I don't have qualms about this because it's just a foreskin and the world will not end if we wait for 12-13 more years.
As for our little girl, on her 2nd month check-up I was asked if I would like to have her ears pierced (naturally, because she's a girl).
Like circumcision, I think this will have to wait. I would like her to get it once she gets her period. I want it to be like a rite of passage, something to look forward to once she hits puberty and also something to look backward to once it passes. I can imagine how it's going to be like once she gets her menarche: her Dada will give her a bouquet of roses and her older brother will give her a box of chocolates. Flowers to remind her of her femininity and chocolates to remind her that it's going to become her best friend every time Aunt Flo visits her. I will take her out on her first trip to the salon for a mani-pedi combo and a haircut to remind her that she's a woman now and it's alright to have womanly desires of being pampered (courtesy of Dada). Then, we'll get her ears pierced! This is to remind her that vanity is a woman's middle name, and it's alright to want to look good. I want her to be excited about it just to quell her fear that it's going to be painful. The pair of stud earrings will be of her own choice (no skulls or snake design, I hope). Then, afterwards her Dada and I will sit down with her to talk about the birds and the bees. It's really all about getting her period and getting her ears pierced will just be the icing on the cake.
... So, I said no to our pedia. Piercing will have to wait.
Why am I making such a big deal out of this, you may ask. I think our daughters' first periods are worth celebrating. It is an occasion for us to talk about fertility, childbirth, hygiene, choices, and the facts of life without sugarcoating anything. It is an occasion to tell them that as women, we are fragile yet strong enough to withstand labor and childbirth. It is the right time to tell them that our cycles are there to remind us every month that we take respite from the daily conundrums of life and listen to our bodies, too. It's the best time to teach them that getting one's period is more than just about buying sanitary pads every month and blood leaking from the secret folds of their bodies. It is a time of gentle reminders that their bodies are their own and no one has the right to touch them through hugs and kisses no matter how innocent and without their consent. And it is the perfect time to tell them that they are fine despite the many physical changes that go with puberty.
Perhaps, I still have 13 years to go until Bambam's 1st period. For now, I will just have to contentedly enjoy her baby smell and warmth. No rushing in wanting her to be a teenager. That will have to wait.
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