Every time I tell people that my 2-year-old cannot understand English yet and that I would rather that he be spoken to in our mother tongue which is Hiligaynon, I would get the same uncalled-for advice: "Start teaching him English."
I do teach my son English, but not through rigid instruction where I would ask him to memorize answers to questions like, "How are you?" "How old are you?" and "What's your name?" To be honest, I find that toddlers who memorize answers (I'm fine, thank you. How about you?) to these questions don't even know what they're talking about, thus it comes out rather mechanical and unnatural from their cute little mouths. I think children (toddlers especially) should be communicated to in a language where they can also respond with meaning. It's also best to use the language in a context where the child can experience the objects being named. My son and I do a lot of nursery rhymes in English and we do a lot of naming objects in English, too. But when it comes to communicating, I don't use English; I use Hiligaynon and I throw in a lot of Kinaray-a instead. Why?Because Kinaray-a is my mother tongue and I'm the mother of my son (geddit?). Also, because I just love the sound of our language. I find it even more fascinating to listen to as Thirdy learns to speak the language at his own pace like clipping the first and second syllables and just uttering the last syllable like "sog" for "kusog" and "ku" for "daku". His fascination with repeated words like "puti-puti" "dagdag" "dasig-dasig" and many more is also interesting. These are trivial reasons really, but let me rebutt against the MOST COMMON REASONS well-meaning friends, acquaintances and relatives advise me on why I should start teaching my toddler English.
1. He will have difficulty communicating with his peers who are English speakers.
Toddlers do solitary play if you notice. They stare, observe, and smile at other toddlers, but have you heard them strike a conversation with one another the way adults do? Through an adult's promptings, yes. But toddlers don't necessarily need an active language to understand each other because they have a universal language.
Toddlers of different races share a language unique to their age group. Is it because their primitive brains are still not wired to follow the standard nuances of a spoken language or is it because they still have memories of heaven?
At this point in Thirdy's life, whom he needed to communicate with are his primary caregivers which include me, his Dad, and our immediate family members. We use our mother tongue when we communicate, so teaching him English at this point is not top priority. I teach him how to be polite and respectful to adults by saying the magic words like "thank you" and "sorry" but I don't expect him to spew answers (in English) like a 7-year-old would every time he is being asked questions by adults. When he turns 4, and he still doesn't speak English with the correct syntax, pronunciation, and semantics, that would be the least of my concern. But when he turns 4, but he still doesn't play with his peers, then I'd get worried.
2. Learning English at a young age is good for him.
How young is young? I will teach him English eventually, but that is, after he has mastered the basics of his mother tongue. The plasticity of his brain actually allows him to acquire language easily and faster than adults anyway. I'll start teaching him English when he has learned how to read and write, that way, he will be able to spell the English words correctly and at the same time that he is learning to speak English, he is also deciphering the visual symbols that go with that language.
The reason why I stick with Hiligaynon is because I would like Thirdy to grow up bilingual - someone who has a good grasp of his mother tongue, and someone who is also proficient in his second language.
For the benefits of being bilingual instead of just monolingual, please watch this video.
Also, by introducing mother tongue to him first, his tongue will build muscles necessary to pronounce certain words not only in Hiligaynon but also in other languages (not only in English).
Sure, English is the most spoken and preferred standard language around the world, but to say that he will succeed in life alone because of English is a sweeping conclusion. What a child needs in order to succeed in life as an adult is the right attitude. He will need some skills and English will be one of them, but having the right pronunciation and highfalutin vocabulary will not assure him a spot up there.
I think more than the language itself, what we need to teach our children
is how to speak gently and sincerely to people from all walks
of life. Words are powerful - they can make or break a person. If people can
refrain from speaking harshly and sarcastically, this world will be a better
place.
4. With English, he will be more advanced than his peers.
This mentality of wanting to be more advanced or better than the
others will have repercussions later on in life. The truth is, we can't always
be more advanced than the person seated next to us. This will sound condescending,
but I do not think Thirdy will have any problem acquiring his English later on.
Why? Because I have been there myself. I grew up as a Karay-a through
and through. English exposure was through TV and radio only, but I turned out
just fine. I even went on to teach English for more than a decade in the
elementary, secondary, and tertiary levels. This will sound condescending but I can communicate with a native
speaker of English and I am proficient in the English listening, speaking,
reading, and writing (my IELTS above average score says so -- now this is
condescending). Not bad for a Kinaray-a girl.
I foresee that my little boy will not be any different from thousands of
Filipinos who are proficient in the English language. And he will not be any
different from thousands of Filipinos who started with his mother tongue.
Like everything else in parenting, a child's first language is a personal choice for all parents. But joining an international playgroup even made me feel more validated of choosing my mother tongue as Thirdy's first language. When we first attended the Waldorf playgroup in Singapore, I was expecting only mothers of Chinese or Indian ancestry to join. But when we joined the first and the succeeding sessions, other nationalities would join in like French, Finnish, and Malay. We, the mothers would all chat together in English but when it came to our children, we would all switch to our mother tongues. So snack time was a noisy hodgepodge of Mandarin, French, Tamil, Swedish, and Hiligaynon! It made me feel that somehow, Thirdy and I have this unique and intimate secret language, where we could both express ourselves. The same is true for other mothers in that playgroup, I suppose.
So, there. I think next time I will be asked why I am not teaching my son English yet, I will not be explaining myself why. I'll just let them listen to Thirdy's Dandansoy song.
