Mommy Hacks

About Me:
1. I am a housewife and a full-time Mom to two young children ages 3-years-old and 10-months-old.
2. Our family of four is based in Singapore.
3. My husband works full-time.
4. We have no helper.
5. My 3-year-old attends a morning Nursery class (9 AM-12 NN).

So you see, my hands are always full. I have been a full-time mom for almost two years now. It is hard, yes. But along the way, you get to learn how to be efficient and make the most of what you have. Here are some of the mommy hacks that I have learned. They are efficient and cost-saving. If you are a mommy and are reading this, I hope they will work for you, too.

1. Use a powerful hose/bidet to get rid of nasty poop from cloth diapers.

Bambam uses cloth diapers during daytime and switches to disposable diapers at night. 

Peek-a-boo!

My life practically changed when I discovered this (no kidding!) Before I had this eureka moment, I would handwash the cloth diapers to get rid of the nasty and sticky stools. It was tedious, and I could only do it at night when the children are asleep. Now, I just place the diaper at the toilet, and with proper aim shoot the stools away with my power gun. You can use either a bidet or a hose. This one takes a bit of practice, though.

2. Let your children take a bath/shower together.

It amuses my boy to see that his sister does not have a penis. 

I find that it saves me time when my two children take a shower together. It also saves water! I usually put the younger one in the tub, shower her, then the older hops in the tub, too. I soap them together, but the younger one is towel dried first. I then take out the princess for a change with all the girly rituals, while I leave the prince in the tub to play. When I'm done with the baby girl, I bring out the boy to be dried and to be changed.

3. Make biscuits out of Cerelac.

rice cereal biscuits made from Cerelac

mushy insides!

My cute food taster loves her home-made biscuits!

After every visit from our pediatrician, we go home with several packets of Cerelac. I am no fan of pre-packed foods for my little ones, but I also do not want to throw away the Cerelac. I thought why not make biscuits out of them instead? Here is the link of the recipe that I used for my biscuits: https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/baby-cereal-cookies-104405

4. Save cartons and boxes to be used for art and crafts.

Use the back part of your boxes to let your toddler write or draw whatever he wants.

IKEA garbage bin box turned into a robot head

box of a pot turned as a canvas

My sister who is a preschool teacher actually taught me this one. Instead of throwing cartons from packages and boxes of your groceries, you can actually turn them into something creative for your  children. You can do many things with them: turn them as a canvas or drawing paper, cut them out, turn them into forts, make costumes out of them, etc. After your little one is done using the packages, you can simply throw them in the recycling bin

5. Make your own claydough.

blue clay

clay in primary colors of blue, red, and yellow

If stored properly, they can last up to 6 months. 

Can you guess what this is?

I learned this one from my Early Childhood Education class (thank you, Maam Jade and Sir Art!). I am sharing their recipe for homemade clay dough: 

Materials
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 cup salt
1 tablespoon cream of tartar
Food coloring
Saucepan
1 cup flour

Directions
1. Combine water, oil, salt, cream of tartar, and food coloring in a saucepan and heat until warm.
2. Remove from heat and add flour.
3. Stir, then knead until smooth. The cream of tartar makes this dough last 6 months or longer, so resist the temptation to omit this ingredient if you don't have it on hand.
4. Store this dough in an airtight container or a Ziploc freezer bag.

6. Make your own fingerpaint.

Primary colors

Van Gogh, is that you?

Oh, it's Thirdy the artist!

Don't forget to hang their masterpieces!

Again, I got this recipe from my ECE teachers, Maam Jade and Sir Art. This fingerpaint is safe for your children as the ingredients are food-based. Your children can even help you prepare the paint.

Materials:

2 cups white flour

2 cups cold water

Food coloring or tempera color

Directions:

1. Pour the water into a large bowl; add the flour slowly stirring constantly.

2. Stir until it is totally smooth, divide into smaller bowls or muffin pan and add food coloring or tempera colors. 

7. Take a nap with your children.

I love my cuddles with these little ones.

Cute babies, eh? They can make you lose your sleep. 

That's my place there between them. 

Every parenting article and baby book I came across seem to give the same advice: Sleep when your baby is asleep (especially when you have a newborn). I never took this advice to heart because really, why would you sleep when you still have laundry to wash and a demanding toddler to attend to? But this is one practical advice that every mom should try to do. Moms are more recharged when they take a nap, hence have more energy to take care of their babies and do household chores. I sometimes do not get lucky with this as there are times when they do not take a nap at the same schedule.

8. Make your own baby wipes.

Credit to the owner of this photo

I actually no longer keep baby wipes as I can now directly wash my daughter's bum with water. But when she was a newborn, I prepared my own baby wipes because I find commercial wipes too wet for its purpose. And it's actually cheaper if you prepare your own. All you need are paper towels (do not use the regular bathroom tissue), baby liquid soap, baby oil, and virgin coconut oil. Here's the video link of a more detailed procedure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1yL3ZTSWFo

9. Try baby-led weaning.

Bam knew how to chew at 7 months.

starter pack for BLW

It could get messy. 

But your little one will be introduced to different colors, tastes, and textures...

Baby-led weaning (BLW) is the opposite of  traditionally starting your child on solid foods. Instead of offering babies (around 6 months) mashed and pureed foods as their first solids, BLW encourages giving of finger foods right away. This may seem like a drastic move as babies at this age do not have teeth yet and there is the danger of choking, but BLW makes a lot of sense when you want your child to grow up as a happy, confident, and adventurous eater. I intend to write a separate post about BLW in the future, but for now, all I want to say is that BLW has made my life easier as I do not have to prepare pureed baby foods.

10. Maintain a manageable, fuss-free, and low-maintenance hairstyle.

My little princess, Bambam

My little prince, Thirdy

In short, maintain a short hairdo! When you have two young children, having a pixie cut saves you a lot of time and effort. On mornings where we all rush to get Thirdy to school, I do not have to brush and tie my hair. Babies like pulling hair, so I am saved from Bambam's curious little fingers. With a short haircut, I also do not need to spend much on shampoo and conditioner nor do I need to go on trips to the salon. Plus, this haircut suits me just fine.

Although my husband works full-time, he does most of the cooking and is always a great Dad to our little ones. Maybe next time he can write about his daddy hacks.

On Infant Piercing

It is a quota for us - we now have a boy and a girl. Along with parenting both sexes, we are also asked to make decisions based on conventional expectations. 

When we had Thirdy, of course it was just natural for us to ask our pediatrician about having him circumcised. She suggested that we wait until he is older because it is going to be a pitiful sight once the procedure is done (his penis will turn tomato red). Being dutiful parents, we agreed. I don't have qualms about this because it's just a foreskin and the world will not end if we wait for 12-13 more years.

As for our little girl, on her 2nd month check-up I was asked if I would like to have her ears pierced (naturally, because she's a girl).

Like circumcision, I think this will have to wait. I would like her to get it once she gets her period. I want it to be like a rite of passage, something to look forward to once she hits puberty and also something to look backward to once it passes. I can imagine how it's going to be like once she gets her menarche: her Dada will give her a bouquet of roses and her older brother will give her a box of chocolates. Flowers to remind her of her femininity and chocolates to remind her that it's going to become her best friend every time Aunt Flo visits her. I will take her out on her first trip to the salon for a mani-pedi combo and a haircut to remind her that she's a woman now and it's alright to have womanly desires of being pampered (courtesy of Dada). Then, we'll get her ears pierced! This is to remind her that vanity is a woman's middle name, and it's alright to want to look good. I want her to be excited about it just to quell her fear that it's going to be painful. The pair of stud earrings will be of her own choice (no skulls or snake design, I hope). Then, afterwards her Dada and I will sit down with her to talk about the birds and the bees. It's really all about getting her period and getting her ears pierced will just be the icing on the cake. 

... So, I said no to our pedia. Piercing will have to wait. 

Why am I making such a big deal out of this, you may ask. I think our daughters' first periods are worth celebrating. It is an occasion for us to talk about fertility, childbirth, hygiene, choices, and the facts of life without sugarcoating anything. It is an occasion to tell them that as women, we are fragile yet strong enough to withstand labor and childbirth. It is the right time to tell them that our cycles are there to remind us every month that we take respite from the daily conundrums of life and listen to our bodies, too. It's the best time to teach them that getting one's period is more than just about buying sanitary pads every month and blood leaking from the secret folds of their bodies. It is a time of gentle reminders that their bodies are their own and no one has the right to touch them through hugs and kisses no matter how innocent and without their consent. And it is the perfect time to tell them that they are fine despite the many physical changes that go with puberty. 

Perhaps, I still have 13 years to go until Bambam's 1st period. For now, I will just have to contentedly enjoy her baby smell and warmth. No rushing in wanting her to be a teenager. That will have to wait. 

Attack of the Green-Eyed Monster

Lemme check whatever's inside that tiny mouth of yours.

All along, I thought I have prepared Thirdy for the arrival of his little sister. The day before I gave birth, he had been having fever for three days and his gums were bleeding. I brought him to his pediatrician and I was told that if the fever persisted, I should have his blood checked. His fever subsided the next day but my water also broke, so that meant leaving him for 3 days and 2 nights. It was the first time that he would sleep without Mama by his side and to be left with someone else for that long a time. 

REGRESSION

I should have taken that fever and bleeding gums as a sign. I was not due for two more weeks, but I have read later that older siblings usually get sick as a coping mechanism of the new sibling's presence. Perhaps Thirdy felt that he will no longer be the apple of everyone's eyes sooner than expected that's why he got sick? 

When he met his sister for the first time, he cried. I tried my best to still be the kind of Mama for him before Bambam came but that proved impossible. The sleepless nights alone could turn a mother into a zombie - a sensitive and irritable (ugly and smelly) zombie . His Dada had to take over in meeting his needs. Little accidents like wetting his pants became a common scenario. He would also cry in the middle of the night to look for me. During the first week after we brought Bambam home, I was losing more sleep because of this than because of the newborn's erratic feeding schedule. I was wondering in frustration whether my sleep and toilet training him had all gone to waste. Every time I would carry Bambam, he would also cry out to be carried. He refused to touch Bambam or have anything to do with her. 

"That's my pillow you're using!"

"But you can have the dede. I'm done with the dede."

But on Bambam's third week, he started to loosen up. Now, when Bambam cries, I would tell him that I need to attend to her first. He would say, "Ok." He also agrees to have his picture taken with her, and he also now touches her with affection.

"Don't we just look good together?"

It's not all that rosy everyday yet. Thirdy is up to his toddler dramas anytime of the day and Bambam still keeps me awake all night. But I'm fine like a zombie. Sometimes, I can't wait for them to grow up. I do hope they'll grow up as best friends. 

She ain't heavy, she's my sister

Big Bro Thirdy

These days, I feel like I am racing against time. With barely a month left before our second child comes, I feel pressured to prepare our firstborn, Thirdy for his little sister's arrival. When I learned that I was pregnant with Baby # 2, my first concern was Thirdy. I thought that he was still very much a baby himself (he was 21-months-old when I got pregnant) and that I might not be able to give him the care and attention he deserves once his sibling comes out. Also, since he'll only be 2 1/2 when baby girl comes, I know he'll still be clingy and possessive of me. 

After February 11th, I will now be taking care of a toddler and a newborn and this is going to be the greatest challenge for me as a mother just yet. So, I decided to take some steps to finally let Thirdy be independent and become the big brother that he should be for his little sis. There were three things that I wanted to happen: 1) wean him from breastfeeding, 2) let him sleep on his own, and 3) toilet train him.

1) Weaning from Breastfeeding

I would have wanted to still breastfeed Thirdy at least until he wanted to stop. He was actually showing signs of weaning on his own by only breastfeeding from me when he wanted to sleep. I consulted my OB-Gyne about this, and I was told point-blank that I should already stop because he was just using me as a pacifier. I have done my research, and I know that it is still safe for some women to breastfeed in the course of a pregnancy. And I wasn't pacifying; I was Mommying! Although I didn't agree wholeheartedly with what my OB told me, I also knew that it was just the right time to wean him. Besides, I did not think that I could handle tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn. 

So after Thirdy turned 2-years-old, I stopped breastfeeding him before sleeping time. I substituted it with rocking until he would doze off. This was fine because before sleeping time, I would still have enough strength to carry and sing him to sleep, but he had this habit of still waking up in the middle of his sleep and he would only go back to dreamland once he had latched. Giving him the boob again would not help us in weaning, so I would stand up and rock him back to sleep. You can just imagine how exhausting this was because he would wake up not once but 4 to 5 times in one night and the pregnancy hormones were messing up with my endurance, too. There were times, when I gave in and just let him have the boob, but it meant going back to zero. So, I tried really hard to be consistent by just rocking him when he wanted the dede. After a month, he was totally weaned. 

I think it helped that he knew he was going to be a big brother soon. I explained that the dede will be for his younger sib. These days, when I ask him if he wants to dede, he would shake his head and say, "Indi lang. Baby Bambam lang." 

Goodbye, Dede! Thanks for the 2 wonderful years of breastfeeding!

2) Sleep Training

I co-slept with Thirdy since he was born, so he would never go to sleep without me by his side. We have also been rocking him to sleep, so he'll ask for it before bedtime, and because I substituted breastfeeding with rocking, this literally became such a pain in my neck and my back. 

When I turned 8 months pregnant, I decided to put my foot down and refused rocking him to sleep. This was met with bitter cries that would last for almost an hour until he would become exhausted. He would then snuggle beside me and just sleep on his own. Among the three things I wanted to happen, this was the shortest but also the toughest. His cries were awful and it was heartbreaking to see him begging for the kungkung. Again, consistency was the key here. After 2 weeks of ignoring his protests and putting up with his tears (and praying that the neighbors will just sleep through the noise), he was finally able to sleep on his own. This was also with the help of a bedtime routine: bath time, story time, lights off, and back rub (in that order). 

He's a tiny human bridge here - still very much attached to his parents' bed and embracing independence, too by sleeping on his own bed.

We finally bought him his own bed (which is just a sofabed). We still do the bedtime routine, but when Baby Bambam comes, his Dad will have to do it together with him. 

Borrowing Bambam's pillows and blanket

3) Toilet Training

Among the three things I wanted to happen, this is the one I am most proud of. With another baby on the way, I just do not think it practical for us to spend on diapers. We were already trying to save by using cloth diapers, but nighttime sleeping and occasional going-outs still meant disposable diapers. So, I told myself that I should toilet-train Thirdy before Bambam comes. It's not impossible because another toddler in Thirdy's playgroup was toilet-trained at 1 1/2. I have also read about Natural Infant Hygiene (NIH) where babies can actually be toilet-trained by 6 months old!

The little guy who's adoringly looking at me was toilet-trained before he turned 2. 

Toilet-training took me some time. I knew he was ready when he started telling me that he had pooped in his nappies. We bought his potty September last year, but he didn't want to sit on it, so I didn't force him. He only warmed up to his potty last December. What I did was I let him use an underwear instead of a diaper. This was to make him feel uncomfortable when he would pee or poo. There were accidents, of course but this was to be expected and one must be very patient in washing the toddler and wiping the floor. I felt like a broken record in repeatedly reminding Thirdy that pee and poo from now on will go to the potty. It paid off. He now tells me when he needs to go. We're diaper-free during daytime, and we're on our way to making nighttime diaper-free, too. 

Pooping while unwrapping a Christmas gift. Yep, somebody gave him a gun. 

This book about potty training helped, too!

Nothing can really prepare you for motherhood especially when the babies start popping. But when your survival and sanity are at risk (I don't think I am exaggerating here), you won't have a choice but to start preparing. Thirdy and Baby Bambam, I'm ready for you!

Why Hiligaynon and not English

Every time I tell people that my 2-year-old cannot understand English yet and that I would rather that he be spoken to in our mother tongue which is Hiligaynon, I would get the same uncalled-for advice: "Start teaching him English."

I do teach my son English, but not through rigid instruction where I would ask him to memorize answers to questions like, "How are you?" "How old are you?" and "What's your name?" To be honest, I find that toddlers who memorize answers (I'm fine, thank you. How about you?) to these questions don't even know what they're talking about, thus it comes out rather mechanical and unnatural from their cute little mouths. I think children (toddlers especially) should be communicated to in a language where they can also respond with meaning. It's also best to use the language in a context where the child can experience the objects being named. My son and I do a lot of nursery rhymes in English and we do a lot of naming objects in English, too. But when it comes to communicating, I don't use English; I use Hiligaynon and I throw in a lot of Kinaray-a instead. Why?Because Kinaray-a is my mother tongue and I'm the mother of my son (geddit?). Also, because I just love the sound of our language. I find it even more fascinating to listen to as Thirdy learns to speak the language at his own pace like clipping the first and second syllables and just uttering the last syllable like "sog" for "kusog" and "ku" for "daku". His fascination with repeated words like "puti-puti" "dagdag" "dasig-dasig" and many more is also interesting. These are trivial reasons really, but let me rebutt against the MOST COMMON REASONS well-meaning friends, acquaintances and relatives advise me on why I should start teaching my toddler English.

1. He will have difficulty communicating with his peers who are English speakers.

Toddlers do solitary play if you notice. They stare, observe, and smile at other toddlers, but have you heard them strike a conversation with one another the way adults do? Through an adult's promptings, yes. But toddlers don't necessarily need an active language to understand each other because they have a universal language.

Toddlers of different races share a language unique to their age group. Is it because their primitive brains are still not wired to follow the standard nuances of a spoken language or is it because they still have memories of heaven?

At this point in Thirdy's life, whom he needed to communicate with are his primary caregivers which include me, his Dad, and our immediate family members. We use our mother tongue when we communicate, so teaching him English at this point is not top priority. I teach him how to be polite and respectful to adults by saying the magic words like "thank you" and "sorry" but I don't expect him to spew answers (in English) like a 7-year-old would every time he is being asked questions by adults. When he turns 4, and he still doesn't speak English with the correct syntax, pronunciation, and semantics, that would be the least of my concern. But when he turns 4, but he still doesn't play with his peers, then I'd get worried.

2. Learning English at a young age is good for him.

How young is young? I will teach him English eventually, but that is, after he has mastered the basics of his mother tongue. The plasticity of his brain actually allows him to acquire language easily and faster than adults anyway. I'll start teaching him English when he has learned how to read and write, that way, he will be able to spell the English words correctly and at the same time that he is learning to speak English, he is also deciphering the visual symbols that go with that language.

The reason why I stick with Hiligaynon is because I would like Thirdy to grow up bilingual - someone who has a good grasp of his mother tongue, and someone who is also proficient in his second language.

For the benefits of being bilingual instead of just monolingual, please watch this video.

Also, by introducing mother tongue to him first, his tongue will build muscles necessary to pronounce certain words not only in Hiligaynon but also in other languages (not only in English).

3. He needs English to go far in life.

Sure, English is the most spoken and preferred standard language around the world, but to say that he will succeed in life alone because of English is a sweeping conclusion. What a child needs in order to succeed in life as an adult is the right attitude. He will need some skills and English will be one of them, but having the right pronunciation and highfalutin vocabulary will not assure him a spot up there.

I think more than the language itself, what we need to teach our children is how to speak gently and sincerely to people from all walks of life. Words are powerful - they can make or break a person. If people can refrain from speaking harshly and sarcastically, this world will be a better place. 

4. With English, he will be more advanced than his peers. 

This mentality of wanting to be more advanced or better than the others will have repercussions later on in life. The truth is, we can't always be more advanced than the person seated next to us. This will sound condescending, but I do not think Thirdy will have any problem acquiring his English later on. Why? Because I have been there myself. I grew up as a Karay-a through and through. English exposure was through TV and radio only, but I turned out just fine. I even went on to teach English for more than a decade in the elementary, secondary, and tertiary levels. This will sound condescending but I can communicate with a native speaker of English and I am proficient in the English listening, speaking, reading, and writing (my IELTS above average score says so -- now this is condescending). Not bad for a Kinaray-a girl. 

I foresee that my little boy will not be any different from thousands of Filipinos who are proficient in the English language. And he will not be any different from thousands of Filipinos who started with his mother tongue. 

Like everything else in parenting, a child's first language is a personal choice for all parents. But joining an international playgroup even made me feel more validated of choosing my mother tongue as Thirdy's first language. When we first attended the Waldorf playgroup in Singapore, I was expecting only mothers of Chinese or Indian ancestry to join. But when we joined the first and the succeeding sessions, other nationalities would join in like French, Finnish, and Malay. We, the mothers would all chat together in English but when it came to our children, we would all switch to our mother tongues. So snack time was a noisy hodgepodge of Mandarin, French, Tamil, Swedish, and Hiligaynon! It made me feel that somehow, Thirdy and I have this unique and intimate secret language, where we could both express ourselves. The same is true for other mothers in that playgroup, I suppose.

So, there. I think next time I will be asked why I am not teaching my son English yet, I will not be explaining myself why. I'll just let them listen to Thirdy's Dandansoy song.

They say that memory starts at the age of 3

Tita Asela and Tita Aurora (Insert Tita Malou) of Balay Binhi Iloilo, Philippines and

Auntie Sandhya of Waldorf Playgroup Singapore

They say that memory starts at the age of 3,

But I can recall something before that – all about goodness and serenity.

I remember bright faces and oh, such peaceful spaces,

With soft dolls, porcelain shells, and wooden mazes.

I remember a soothing melody reminding me to gently set aside these playthings

Because we had to form a circle and pretend we were little queens and kings!

So we held hands with one another,

My left hand with my nurturer and my right hand with my mother.

And together we danced around to songs that delighted me much

Of flying chickadees, clothes washing gorillas, snapping crocodiles and such.

We hopped, jumped, rolled and crawled – oh, I was so happy!

But all those dancing and singing also made me hungry,

So we sang, “Flip and dip your hands like fish in the silver sea,

Wipe and dry them in the towel and let’s sit down for tea.”

I was given my share of food and we asked for blessings on our meal.

We had bread that we baked and vegetable soup (my favorite), what a thrill!

I finished everything on my plate and I also asked for more.

My tummy was full and I was ready to feed the animals outside for sure.

The sun warmed my back as we set out,

I fed the chickens, the fishes, and the goats that were running out and about.

We watered the blooming garden, and we played with sand.

But soon it was story time, my mother took my hand.

And she sat beside me as we listened to a story

About a caterpillar, an ant, and a bee.

By then, my body wanted me to rest

So my mother laid me on her breast

... And I was light and free.

So when they say that memory starts at the age of 3,

I beg to disagree

Because what we saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched before the age of 3

Are foundations for a sound life and on how we choose to be.

And they remind me and you

That our senses have memories, too.

*So I thank you, my nurturers Tita Asela, Tita Au, Tita Malou and Auntie Sandhya, for giving me a good start

Because of what you have given me, I know I’ll grow up healthy and smart.

-- by Thirdy the poet