The No-Dessert Diet

My love for words and my love for sweets were fused into one through our wedding cake.

For starters, lactating women are not encouraged to go on a diet. But it's also because of breastfeeding that the no-dessert diet came into fruition (no pun intended). I tried to limit my sugar intake while I was pregnant with Bambam because my OB said as I should keep my second baby's  birth weight at 2.8 kg (Thirdy's birth weight) and below. Anything higher than that might give me a difficult delivery. I didn't want a big baby (the bigger baby, the more painful the delivery), so I took her advice seriously. I told myself just I'll make up to my sweet tooth after giving birth. So after my delivery, I dove into sweet treats without any limit. Then, Bambam started making weird sleeping sounds 3 days after birth. The pedia said it could be gas and acid caused by my diet, so I should cut back on eating chocolates because I am exclusively breastfeeding.

I would do anything for my daughter, so I stopped eating chocolates. But I was still into cakes and candies and halo-halo and all sorts of desserts. Then, two weeks ago, my sister-in-law celebrated her birthday. I ate some chocolate cake, and it left such a lingering saccharinous taste in my mouth even with several gulps of water. It made me want to vomit. That's when I decided not to eat desserts for awhile. What drove me to be firm was what our family friend said who died recently because of ovarian cancer. She said we have to cut back on sugar because it causes cancer.

So, I tried to steer clear of anything sweet for a week as an experiment. This was no easy feat because my taste buds have always had strong inclination for sugary treats. I have a separate stomach just for desserts. I usually head to the dessert table first during parties. I would eat a slice of cake, lick some ice cream, splash at the chocolate fountain, and I'm good to go.

But you know what? After a week of not eating anything sugar-coated, my tongue felt clean. You know that satisfying and wonderful feeling you have in your mouth after you have brushed your teeth? Yes, it felt that way minus the minty aftertaste. So, I decided to extend the no-dessert diet until maybe I give in. Another thing I noticed was that I slept better and longer, too. I think it helped that Bam's already on her second month and she now has longer sleeping hours at night. Her weird sleeping noise has also toned down a bit. One thing's for sure, I feel that because I am more well-rested, I now have more energy to take care of my children during daytime.

I'll almost be finishing my second week of no-dessert diet, and I am hoping that I could extend it for a month just to see the effect on my body. Of course, I still have my sugar fix but I only get it from fruits. Here's an article about the benefits of limiting one's sugar intake:
https://www.prevention.com/health/what-happens-when-you-stop-eating-sugar

I hope someday, I could also try the no-potato chips diet or the no-fastfood diet (I love my Jollibee). For now, let's see if I could stick with the no-dessert diet for a month. Wish me luck!

On Infant Piercing

It is a quota for us - we now have a boy and a girl. Along with parenting both sexes, we are also asked to make decisions based on conventional expectations. 

When we had Thirdy, of course it was just natural for us to ask our pediatrician about having him circumcised. She suggested that we wait until he is older because it is going to be a pitiful sight once the procedure is done (his penis will turn tomato red). Being dutiful parents, we agreed. I don't have qualms about this because it's just a foreskin and the world will not end if we wait for 12-13 more years.

As for our little girl, on her 2nd month check-up I was asked if I would like to have her ears pierced (naturally, because she's a girl).

Like circumcision, I think this will have to wait. I would like her to get it once she gets her period. I want it to be like a rite of passage, something to look forward to once she hits puberty and also something to look backward to once it passes. I can imagine how it's going to be like once she gets her menarche: her Dada will give her a bouquet of roses and her older brother will give her a box of chocolates. Flowers to remind her of her femininity and chocolates to remind her that it's going to become her best friend every time Aunt Flo visits her. I will take her out on her first trip to the salon for a mani-pedi combo and a haircut to remind her that she's a woman now and it's alright to have womanly desires of being pampered (courtesy of Dada). Then, we'll get her ears pierced! This is to remind her that vanity is a woman's middle name, and it's alright to want to look good. I want her to be excited about it just to quell her fear that it's going to be painful. The pair of stud earrings will be of her own choice (no skulls or snake design, I hope). Then, afterwards her Dada and I will sit down with her to talk about the birds and the bees. It's really all about getting her period and getting her ears pierced will just be the icing on the cake. 

... So, I said no to our pedia. Piercing will have to wait. 

Why am I making such a big deal out of this, you may ask. I think our daughters' first periods are worth celebrating. It is an occasion for us to talk about fertility, childbirth, hygiene, choices, and the facts of life without sugarcoating anything. It is an occasion to tell them that as women, we are fragile yet strong enough to withstand labor and childbirth. It is the right time to tell them that our cycles are there to remind us every month that we take respite from the daily conundrums of life and listen to our bodies, too. It's the best time to teach them that getting one's period is more than just about buying sanitary pads every month and blood leaking from the secret folds of their bodies. It is a time of gentle reminders that their bodies are their own and no one has the right to touch them through hugs and kisses no matter how innocent and without their consent. And it is the perfect time to tell them that they are fine despite the many physical changes that go with puberty. 

Perhaps, I still have 13 years to go until Bambam's 1st period. For now, I will just have to contentedly enjoy her baby smell and warmth. No rushing in wanting her to be a teenager. That will have to wait. 

Give Until It Hurts

I gave away all my children's books except for this Newbery awardee collection. I just couldn't seem to part with it.

I heard once in a homily that when you give something, it has to make you feel that you have sacrificed something. In short, it has to hurt. The essence of giving is you're supposed to feel empty after letting go of a possession. It's not sincere when you don't feel an inner ouch when you give away your favorite dress for a fire victim or your last Php100 for a beggar.

Over the years, I have given away my things for convenient reasons like "I no longer need them" and "It's better to give than throw them away." So, you see, I didn't really feel any hurt when I gave my things away. In fact, my most prized possessions which were my books then were all given away after I gave birth to Thirdy. They were eating so much space in the bedroom, and I no longer read them so I gave them all away. I wrote about it here (http://angmaestra.blogspot.com/2015/09/letting-go.html).

I still managed to use the books as props for Thirdy's photo session before I parted with them.

I gave away those books, but my children's book collection was untouched. I still had one full shelf of it. But when I got pregnant with Bambam, I knew I had to give them away, too. Our small apartment had to accommodate a crib again and a few baby and toddler stuff. So we decided that we'll donate the books to my mother's high school alma mater in Duenas. I was at first hesitant of doing that because I wanted to give away the books to my college students under my last advisory class. I wasn't able to say a proper goodbye to them when I resigned, so giving away a book for each student complete with a personalized dedication was my way of making up to them. The de-cluttering of our apartment to make way for a newborn again ate our time, however, so I went along with the plan of just donating them instead. I didn't feel any pain of letting my babies go.

Shoutout to Prof. Dumagpi for introducing us to Newbery awardee books

I learned to appreciate children's books in graduate school. Thanks, Prof. Dumagpi

I gave birth to Bambam soon after that, and life with a newborn and a toddler went on. Then, one time I was changing my daughter's nappy (for the nth time) when I remembered those books and out of nowhere, I was washed with a sudden wave of sadness. It's a kind of sadness that I couldn't seem quite to put my finger on. It was a combination of regret, longing, and just plain homemade sadness. It's that kind of feeling after breaking up with your lover - you'd want to talk to him/her but then you realized you can no longer do that because you called it quits already. Just as it came to me swiftly, that profound sense of sadness also left me just as suddenly. If you're a mom of two, you know you can no longer dwell on negative things, so I brushed my sadness aside. But before it left, it punched me deep on the chest that for the whole day, I could literally see myself walking with a hollow circle on that part of my body.

Don't get me wrong. It was not post-partum depression (I can recognize PPD from afar). It's just that every time I remember those books now, I'd feel that sadness all over again. All is not lost, however. I still have my one box of Newbery awardee collection. I just couldn't seem to part with it, and I was saving the books for Thirdy and Bam.

I hope he'll grow up to be a reader, too.

I think the main reason why I felt that long overdue sadness was because those books were not just books. They were part of my identity as a high school teacher then. It was Teacher Van who forced the 7th graders to have a book report once every two weeks. The books were also carefully chosen. Those books meant time for me - lazy weekends spent on browsing those books at Booksale. And of course it also meant money. From my meager income as a teacher, I paid for them. I think it also hurt because I do not know the recipient of my books. It feels like I just gave away a part who I am to total strangers.

I am saving the Newbery books for these two.

Parting with those books hurt. I just didn't feel the blow right away (only 3 months after). To ease my sadness, I started reading the books from the Newbery collection again. My only consolation is that because I felt that pain after giving away my books, maybe my soul will earn some brownie points in heaven?

All-time favorite of my high school students

It's a good thing I didn't give you away.