Big Bro Thirdy

These days, I feel like I am racing against time. With barely a month left before our second child comes, I feel pressured to prepare our firstborn, Thirdy for his little sister's arrival. When I learned that I was pregnant with Baby # 2, my first concern was Thirdy. I thought that he was still very much a baby himself (he was 21-months-old when I got pregnant) and that I might not be able to give him the care and attention he deserves once his sibling comes out. Also, since he'll only be 2 1/2 when baby girl comes, I know he'll still be clingy and possessive of me. 

After February 11th, I will now be taking care of a toddler and a newborn and this is going to be the greatest challenge for me as a mother just yet. So, I decided to take some steps to finally let Thirdy be independent and become the big brother that he should be for his little sis. There were three things that I wanted to happen: 1) wean him from breastfeeding, 2) let him sleep on his own, and 3) toilet train him.

1) Weaning from Breastfeeding

I would have wanted to still breastfeed Thirdy at least until he wanted to stop. He was actually showing signs of weaning on his own by only breastfeeding from me when he wanted to sleep. I consulted my OB-Gyne about this, and I was told point-blank that I should already stop because he was just using me as a pacifier. I have done my research, and I know that it is still safe for some women to breastfeed in the course of a pregnancy. And I wasn't pacifying; I was Mommying! Although I didn't agree wholeheartedly with what my OB told me, I also knew that it was just the right time to wean him. Besides, I did not think that I could handle tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn. 

So after Thirdy turned 2-years-old, I stopped breastfeeding him before sleeping time. I substituted it with rocking until he would doze off. This was fine because before sleeping time, I would still have enough strength to carry and sing him to sleep, but he had this habit of still waking up in the middle of his sleep and he would only go back to dreamland once he had latched. Giving him the boob again would not help us in weaning, so I would stand up and rock him back to sleep. You can just imagine how exhausting this was because he would wake up not once but 4 to 5 times in one night and the pregnancy hormones were messing up with my endurance, too. There were times, when I gave in and just let him have the boob, but it meant going back to zero. So, I tried really hard to be consistent by just rocking him when he wanted the dede. After a month, he was totally weaned. 

I think it helped that he knew he was going to be a big brother soon. I explained that the dede will be for his younger sib. These days, when I ask him if he wants to dede, he would shake his head and say, "Indi lang. Baby Bambam lang." 

Goodbye, Dede! Thanks for the 2 wonderful years of breastfeeding!

2) Sleep Training

I co-slept with Thirdy since he was born, so he would never go to sleep without me by his side. We have also been rocking him to sleep, so he'll ask for it before bedtime, and because I substituted breastfeeding with rocking, this literally became such a pain in my neck and my back. 

When I turned 8 months pregnant, I decided to put my foot down and refused rocking him to sleep. This was met with bitter cries that would last for almost an hour until he would become exhausted. He would then snuggle beside me and just sleep on his own. Among the three things I wanted to happen, this was the shortest but also the toughest. His cries were awful and it was heartbreaking to see him begging for the kungkung. Again, consistency was the key here. After 2 weeks of ignoring his protests and putting up with his tears (and praying that the neighbors will just sleep through the noise), he was finally able to sleep on his own. This was also with the help of a bedtime routine: bath time, story time, lights off, and back rub (in that order). 

He's a tiny human bridge here - still very much attached to his parents' bed and embracing independence, too by sleeping on his own bed.

We finally bought him his own bed (which is just a sofabed). We still do the bedtime routine, but when Baby Bambam comes, his Dad will have to do it together with him. 

Borrowing Bambam's pillows and blanket

3) Toilet Training

Among the three things I wanted to happen, this is the one I am most proud of. With another baby on the way, I just do not think it practical for us to spend on diapers. We were already trying to save by using cloth diapers, but nighttime sleeping and occasional going-outs still meant disposable diapers. So, I told myself that I should toilet-train Thirdy before Bambam comes. It's not impossible because another toddler in Thirdy's playgroup was toilet-trained at 1 1/2. I have also read about Natural Infant Hygiene (NIH) where babies can actually be toilet-trained by 6 months old!

The little guy who's adoringly looking at me was toilet-trained before he turned 2. 

Toilet-training took me some time. I knew he was ready when he started telling me that he had pooped in his nappies. We bought his potty September last year, but he didn't want to sit on it, so I didn't force him. He only warmed up to his potty last December. What I did was I let him use an underwear instead of a diaper. This was to make him feel uncomfortable when he would pee or poo. There were accidents, of course but this was to be expected and one must be very patient in washing the toddler and wiping the floor. I felt like a broken record in repeatedly reminding Thirdy that pee and poo from now on will go to the potty. It paid off. He now tells me when he needs to go. We're diaper-free during daytime, and we're on our way to making nighttime diaper-free, too. 

Pooping while unwrapping a Christmas gift. Yep, somebody gave him a gun. 

This book about potty training helped, too!

Nothing can really prepare you for motherhood especially when the babies start popping. But when your survival and sanity are at risk (I don't think I am exaggerating here), you won't have a choice but to start preparing. Thirdy and Baby Bambam, I'm ready for you!

The Story of This Dress

I like going to the market near our HDB. There are two grocery stores there -- Fair Price and Prime. There is also a hawker center, a homeware store, and a fruit and vegetable stall where you can haggle with the owner. But what I particularly like is when they sell clothes at the market's center, which they don't do everyday. It reminds me of the market back home in Pinas, where you can buy underthings and children's clothes of good quality for a cheap price. 

So this one particular day, I had just finished buying fish from Prime. With still some money left and the clothing market on schedule that day AND my toddler asleep on his stroller, I was looking forward to peacefully 'shop' around for a dress. One dress caught my eye. It reminded me of my favorite maternity dress which someone stole when I left it to hang overnight outside our apartment. 

On my 3rd month of pregnancy here. I so love the paisley design of this dress. Somebody must have liked it, too because it got stolen.

So imagine my delight when I saw a similar dress which was only 8 SGD (P240). The stolen one cost me 10 SGD (P300). I immediately bought the dress. 

Yes, this dress! Never mind our kissykissy faces and my husband's awkward pose. 

The flower design is *heart*

Anyhoo, after buying the lovely clothing, I spied another maternity dress which could double as a breastfeeding dress. It was from the same makeshift stall, but for 15 SGD, I thought it was quite expensive. I stayed around and asked the owner for other colors (just to buy time) - the dress came in purple, pink, brown, and others which I can no longer recall now. I thought the brown one would especially go well with my brown sandals, but alas, my money was not enough. I had 10 dollars, so I checked my coin purse for some change which I prayerfully counted would at least reach 5 dollars. But I only had 3 dollars. I went back to the owner and haggled. I told her I bought one dress from her already and will buy another one, so could I at least be given a discount? She said, "Alright. 14 dollars for you." 

I was still 1 dollar short. But I wasn't just about to give up. I looked around for some Pinays or for some good Samaritan who might want to take pity on a pregnant woman and lend her a dollar. But it was almost 12 noon that time, and market goers were thinning in number. I thought of going home instead, get the blasted dollar, and go back to the market which will take me about 10 minutes if I do my fast pregnant waddle. 

Instead of going home, I decided to sit by the corner and rummaged around my bag hoping that I could at least find a dollar tucked somewhere in its several pockets. But there was none. So again, I counted my coins by dumping the whole contents of my wallet on the skirt of my dress. I managed to scrimp 13.70 dollars only. The heat and the agitation to hopefully clinch 14 dollars made me sweat profusely. There I was on my 6th month of pregnancy, counting pennies on a market's corner with a sleeping toddler that after awhile it dawned on me that I probably looked comically desperate. I thought that maybe it's best that I should just go home and get that sorry dollar. So, I went back to the owner and asked what time she'll be closing up (they don't stay in the afternoon). She was with a customer, so she didn't answer me right away. I asked loudly the second time, and she turned around to ask me, "How much do you have?" I replied that I only have 13.70 dollars. She immediately wrapped the dress and told me, "Ok, I'll give this to you, but next time, buy from me again." I felt like hugging her. I believe now that she took pity on the poor pregnant housewife who was at the same time saddled with a toddler (waking up from dreamland by that time) -- ME! When I gave her my 13.70 dollars which all came in coins, she exclaimed, "Whoah! So many 50 cents!" I grabbed the dress right away before she could change her mind. My husband told me later that most Singaporeans find 50 cents as useless already, thus the reaction from the owner. 

When I got home, I tried on the dress (I couldn't try it in the market because there was no changing room) and realized that I didn't like the brown color. The knitted flowers on the chest actually looks like I have several nipples. I think my take-away from the experience is that I shouldn't get too desperate over something. I actually found a similar dress displayed in one of the boutiques in Iloilo (but I didn't dare go inside to ask for the price anymore). I eventually wore the dress for my maternity photoshoot. I may not like the color, but I think it's still worth every scrimped penny.

So... that's the story behind that dress. My husband and I had a good laugh over that experience.

And here are some of pictures from my maternity photoshoot featuring none other than the 13.70 SGD dress! 

Photos were taken by Steve Francis Quiatchion. 

#bigbroThirdy

Our family has so many things to look forward to this year. Dear reader, here's hoping that you'll also have many things to look forward to this 2018! Cheers from angmaestra.blogspot.com

Why Hiligaynon and not English

Every time I tell people that my 2-year-old cannot understand English yet and that I would rather that he be spoken to in our mother tongue which is Hiligaynon, I would get the same uncalled-for advice: "Start teaching him English."

I do teach my son English, but not through rigid instruction where I would ask him to memorize answers to questions like, "How are you?" "How old are you?" and "What's your name?" To be honest, I find that toddlers who memorize answers (I'm fine, thank you. How about you?) to these questions don't even know what they're talking about, thus it comes out rather mechanical and unnatural from their cute little mouths. I think children (toddlers especially) should be communicated to in a language where they can also respond with meaning. It's also best to use the language in a context where the child can experience the objects being named. My son and I do a lot of nursery rhymes in English and we do a lot of naming objects in English, too. But when it comes to communicating, I don't use English; I use Hiligaynon and I throw in a lot of Kinaray-a instead. Why?Because Kinaray-a is my mother tongue and I'm the mother of my son (geddit?). Also, because I just love the sound of our language. I find it even more fascinating to listen to as Thirdy learns to speak the language at his own pace like clipping the first and second syllables and just uttering the last syllable like "sog" for "kusog" and "ku" for "daku". His fascination with repeated words like "puti-puti" "dagdag" "dasig-dasig" and many more is also interesting. These are trivial reasons really, but let me rebutt against the MOST COMMON REASONS well-meaning friends, acquaintances and relatives advise me on why I should start teaching my toddler English.

1. He will have difficulty communicating with his peers who are English speakers.

Toddlers do solitary play if you notice. They stare, observe, and smile at other toddlers, but have you heard them strike a conversation with one another the way adults do? Through an adult's promptings, yes. But toddlers don't necessarily need an active language to understand each other because they have a universal language.

Toddlers of different races share a language unique to their age group. Is it because their primitive brains are still not wired to follow the standard nuances of a spoken language or is it because they still have memories of heaven?

At this point in Thirdy's life, whom he needed to communicate with are his primary caregivers which include me, his Dad, and our immediate family members. We use our mother tongue when we communicate, so teaching him English at this point is not top priority. I teach him how to be polite and respectful to adults by saying the magic words like "thank you" and "sorry" but I don't expect him to spew answers (in English) like a 7-year-old would every time he is being asked questions by adults. When he turns 4, and he still doesn't speak English with the correct syntax, pronunciation, and semantics, that would be the least of my concern. But when he turns 4, but he still doesn't play with his peers, then I'd get worried.

2. Learning English at a young age is good for him.

How young is young? I will teach him English eventually, but that is, after he has mastered the basics of his mother tongue. The plasticity of his brain actually allows him to acquire language easily and faster than adults anyway. I'll start teaching him English when he has learned how to read and write, that way, he will be able to spell the English words correctly and at the same time that he is learning to speak English, he is also deciphering the visual symbols that go with that language.

The reason why I stick with Hiligaynon is because I would like Thirdy to grow up bilingual - someone who has a good grasp of his mother tongue, and someone who is also proficient in his second language.

For the benefits of being bilingual instead of just monolingual, please watch this video.

Also, by introducing mother tongue to him first, his tongue will build muscles necessary to pronounce certain words not only in Hiligaynon but also in other languages (not only in English).

3. He needs English to go far in life.

Sure, English is the most spoken and preferred standard language around the world, but to say that he will succeed in life alone because of English is a sweeping conclusion. What a child needs in order to succeed in life as an adult is the right attitude. He will need some skills and English will be one of them, but having the right pronunciation and highfalutin vocabulary will not assure him a spot up there.

I think more than the language itself, what we need to teach our children is how to speak gently and sincerely to people from all walks of life. Words are powerful - they can make or break a person. If people can refrain from speaking harshly and sarcastically, this world will be a better place. 

4. With English, he will be more advanced than his peers. 

This mentality of wanting to be more advanced or better than the others will have repercussions later on in life. The truth is, we can't always be more advanced than the person seated next to us. This will sound condescending, but I do not think Thirdy will have any problem acquiring his English later on. Why? Because I have been there myself. I grew up as a Karay-a through and through. English exposure was through TV and radio only, but I turned out just fine. I even went on to teach English for more than a decade in the elementary, secondary, and tertiary levels. This will sound condescending but I can communicate with a native speaker of English and I am proficient in the English listening, speaking, reading, and writing (my IELTS above average score says so -- now this is condescending). Not bad for a Kinaray-a girl. 

I foresee that my little boy will not be any different from thousands of Filipinos who are proficient in the English language. And he will not be any different from thousands of Filipinos who started with his mother tongue. 

Like everything else in parenting, a child's first language is a personal choice for all parents. But joining an international playgroup even made me feel more validated of choosing my mother tongue as Thirdy's first language. When we first attended the Waldorf playgroup in Singapore, I was expecting only mothers of Chinese or Indian ancestry to join. But when we joined the first and the succeeding sessions, other nationalities would join in like French, Finnish, and Malay. We, the mothers would all chat together in English but when it came to our children, we would all switch to our mother tongues. So snack time was a noisy hodgepodge of Mandarin, French, Tamil, Swedish, and Hiligaynon! It made me feel that somehow, Thirdy and I have this unique and intimate secret language, where we could both express ourselves. The same is true for other mothers in that playgroup, I suppose.

So, there. I think next time I will be asked why I am not teaching my son English yet, I will not be explaining myself why. I'll just let them listen to Thirdy's Dandansoy song.

They say that memory starts at the age of 3

Tita Asela and Tita Aurora (Insert Tita Malou) of Balay Binhi Iloilo, Philippines and

Auntie Sandhya of Waldorf Playgroup Singapore

They say that memory starts at the age of 3,

But I can recall something before that – all about goodness and serenity.

I remember bright faces and oh, such peaceful spaces,

With soft dolls, porcelain shells, and wooden mazes.

I remember a soothing melody reminding me to gently set aside these playthings

Because we had to form a circle and pretend we were little queens and kings!

So we held hands with one another,

My left hand with my nurturer and my right hand with my mother.

And together we danced around to songs that delighted me much

Of flying chickadees, clothes washing gorillas, snapping crocodiles and such.

We hopped, jumped, rolled and crawled – oh, I was so happy!

But all those dancing and singing also made me hungry,

So we sang, “Flip and dip your hands like fish in the silver sea,

Wipe and dry them in the towel and let’s sit down for tea.”

I was given my share of food and we asked for blessings on our meal.

We had bread that we baked and vegetable soup (my favorite), what a thrill!

I finished everything on my plate and I also asked for more.

My tummy was full and I was ready to feed the animals outside for sure.

The sun warmed my back as we set out,

I fed the chickens, the fishes, and the goats that were running out and about.

We watered the blooming garden, and we played with sand.

But soon it was story time, my mother took my hand.

And she sat beside me as we listened to a story

About a caterpillar, an ant, and a bee.

By then, my body wanted me to rest

So my mother laid me on her breast

... And I was light and free.

So when they say that memory starts at the age of 3,

I beg to disagree

Because what we saw, heard, smelled, tasted, and touched before the age of 3

Are foundations for a sound life and on how we choose to be.

And they remind me and you

That our senses have memories, too.

*So I thank you, my nurturers Tita Asela, Tita Au, Tita Malou and Auntie Sandhya, for giving me a good start

Because of what you have given me, I know I’ll grow up healthy and smart.

-- by Thirdy the poet

Good Things Come in Threes

When I was growing up in my small and sleepy hometown, I would often wonder why our town mayor would always be invited in weddings. Not only that, he would also often sit as one of the principal sponsors or ninongs. In my young mind, I thought it was mandatory to invite the mayor in all the townfolks' weddings.

When I became an adult, I realized that the ninong and ninang are there to serve as the pricincipal witnesses of one's wedding. After all, they are the ones who sign in one's marriage certificate, not the couple's parents or siblings. They also serve as second parents and role models to the newlyweds.

When husband and I planned our wedding, we both agreed that we shall only have three pairs of principal sponsors. Because really, why have a dozen pairs when you barely know them and their marriages are not even worthy of being emulated? It was not so difficult for me to pick those who will serve as our godparents. I personally know the two ninangs and ninongs while husband personally picked the other pair.

Since today is our 3rd wedding anniversary, I would like to give tribute to our three pairs of ninongs and ninangs.

1) Dr. Victoria Albacete

Maam Vicky was my drama teacher back in my senior year in college. When I started teaching at WVSU, we became officemates and very good friends. As I was just a new faculty member then, I appreciated her listening to my lovelife woes and to my personal struggles. I look up to her because she is steadfast in her faith, committed to her family, and managed to grow in her career despite having two young children. She and her husband may have had challenges, but she is always calm and poised - an epitome of grace under pressure. I'll always keep in my mind what she told me - to rest my soul in Jesus because His love is constant. Thank you, Maam Vicky for always keeping us in your praying heart.

2) Dr. Eleonora Padilla

Maam Boging was my teacher in several of my major subjects in college. Most of my classmates who became teachers themselves would always give credit to Maam Boging for inspiring them to take the path of the noble profession. I was one of those who was inspired, too. It was always interesting to listen to her stories and her generosity knows no bounds. We were welcome to barge into her office and into her home anytime of the day. Her marriage and family life reflect the kind of person she is - warm, welcoming, and inspiring. Thank you, Maam Bogs for your kind words and gentle reminders during our wedding day. Please continue to be an inspiration to your students and may you have many more couples to serve as ninang to.

3) Dr. Daisy Altamera

Doc Daisy is the reason why husband has a nakakasilaw smile. She is a dentist by profession, and she has been taking care of husband's teeth ever since he was still in diapers. I have heard about her humble beginnings, and it is inspiring to see her now - a flourishing dental clinic as well as a successful mother of three grown-up children who are also making a name for themselves. Thank you, Tita Ninang for honoring our wedding with your presence and of course, for giving husband his shining molars.

*I have decided to use the Ninangs' professional titles to remind myself that these women I look up to were able to juggle motherhood, family life, and career.

Now on to the Ninongs...

1) Engr. Randy Rabe

Ninong Randy and wife, Irish's love story is something hopeless romantics would love to listen to. It reminds me to never give up and to pursue someone who is worth pursuing. He flew all the way from Singapore to stand as our ninong on our wedding day. We really appreciate it. Ninang Irish couldn't make it because she was pregnant with their second baby then. They now have three beautiful sons, by the way. As for their love story, you just have to ask them yourself about how they ended up together. Thank you, Ninong Randy for the generosity of your time, for your kindness to Axe (when he was still a Totoy) and for your gift of friendship.

2) President Carlos P. Garcia

I would like to say that Sir Caloy was the father I never had. We met as readers in the Lector's Ministry of St. Clement's more than 6 years ago. When I was troubled at work or when I had to make a tough decision, I would consult him and he would always be generous of his time. I remember asking him about a guy I just met whom I was attracted to and how anxious I was about my feelings (I'm referring to husband, of course). His kind words made me feel confident after. Thank you, Ninong Caloy for never failing to listen to me and for believing in what I can do. 

*I am not joking about his President title because once upon a time, he served as the President of our Lector's Ministry. And yes, his complete name is really Carlos P. Garcia.

3) Freedom Father Pol Espanola

Ninong Pol and I met at the Toastmasters Club Iloilo Chapter. I remember vividly about one topic where he was asked about marriage. He claimed to be someone who was not such a good speaker, but when he talked about his marriage, he was confident, spontaneous, and downright funny. I was single then, but when he ended his speech, I told myself that that's just the kind of marriage that I want for myself. Ninong Pol, aka TM Pol also likes to call himself Freedom Father because he advocates financial freedom and financial literacy which he has successfully promoted. We followed his advice of not buying a car nor a house. Why does he give this kind of advice? Ask him yourself. He is very much accommodating when you have questions about money and investments. Thank you, Ninong Pol for that wide smile and for that Ninongly advice you gave on our wedding day (you always rock as a public speaker). 

Thank you, Ninongs and Ninangs for accepting our invitation of being our principal sponsors. We look up to you not just because your marriages are worth emulating but also because individually, you rock!

So, to those who are getting hitched and are planning their entourage list, don't include someone as your principal sponsor just because he/she is your mom's bestfriend, your baptism godparent, or God forbid, your town mayor! Choose someone you know personally and someone you could look up to in your marriage. 

The Pros and Cons of Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting or AP by definition is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods which aims to promote the attachment of mother and infant not only by maximal maternal empathy and responsiveness but also by continuous bodily closeness and touch (Wikipedia). It encourages parents to breastfeed, co-sleep, and babywear.

Even while I was pregnant, the decision to breastfeed, co-sleep, and babywear Thirdy when he eventually comes out came naturally for me (http://angmaestra.blogspot.sg/2015/05/mommy-plans.html). I didn't have qualms about it, and I thought it was the best option for my firstborn (I still do). But a toddler has different needs from an infant. Thirdy is now an active 2-year-old as well as a soon-to-be-Manong. As of writing this, I am 16 weeks pregnant, and although I would still like to AP Thirdy and Fourdee (that's the bun in the oven's nickname), I am re-evaluating my stance on breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing.

1) Breastfeeding

Go public! Breastfeeding at Richmonde Hotel swimmimg pool area

PROS

There is no question that breastfeeding is the best option for your baby - it is safe, convenient, cheap, and downright healthy. I can attest to this because I have been breastfeeding Thirdy since he was born, and he never got sick to the point where he needed to be hospitalized. Sure, he got the occasional sniffles, fever, and cough but thank God, it never went beyond that. I have to give credit to my breastmilk for boosting his immune system. In addition to that, we didn't go through the trouble of buying baby bottles, filtered water (which can be contaminated), and formula milk during his first two years.

CONS

The weaning is the tough part. As per doctor's advice, I should wean Thirdy. Plus, I do not think I can handle tandem breastfeeding when Fourdee comes out eventually. But when you have been co-sleeping and breastfeeding since Day 1, weaning is going to be a struggle.

Also, formula milk has been given a bad rap. But there have been many instances where FM has saved many a baby's lives. When Thirdy turned 1, his height and weight plateaued. He was almost 2 when his pediatrician said we have to start on formula milk because his height and weight are on the borderline of falling behind his age. I was resistant because for me formula milk was the evil's spawn. Looking back now, I should have started on FM when he turned 1 or 1 1/2. He is very small, and I sometimes feel insecure when I see him playing with other children who are bigger but younger than he is. I have to blame our genes for his small stature because we, his parents are also very cute. So, we should have started mixed-feeding at least earlier.


2) Co-sleeping

I only sleep when I'm rocked because I'm a rockstar, Mom.

PROS

I love cuddling up with my little boy. When you're breastfeeding, it's perfectly convenient to co-sleep because when the little one is hungry, all you have to do is bare the boob and he'll be fine. Your baby also gets to be familiar with Mom and Dad's smell and warmth, and he will know early on that he is loved.

CONS

Sleep training is going to be a challenge when you have been co-sleeping since Day 1. Your child won't go to sleep without you around. That's our concern with Thirdy. Aside from that, he has been used to being carried and rocked just so he could go to sleep (blame my Mom). He is quite heavy now. Also, my tummy is getting bigger everyday, so carrying him can be a pain in the neck (literally) and the back.

When he was still an infant, well-meaning relatives warned us not to rock him all the time as he will get used to it. But I thought, babies NEED to be rocked because they are helpless, tiny human beings, and they need warmth, love, protection, etc. I forgot that tiny human beings also grow big and heavy. With Fourdee, I think we will heed our relatives' advice.

Also, I personally think that a child should have his own bedroom by the time he goes to primary/elementary school at least. This will teach him about personal space and independence. Plus, there's no danger of coming across Mom or Dad naked or Mom and Dad doing 'it'.


3) Babywearing

kangaroo carrier

SaYa wrap

PROS

Your hands are free when you carry your baby around like an 'ati.' And just like co-sleeping, it makes your baby feel warm and secure.

CONS

You'll have pain around your waist once your baby gets the extra weight. I stopped babywearing when Thirdy turned 1 and 1/2. With Fourdee, I'll probably stick with the stroller once he/she hits that age, too.


In conclusion, Attachment Parenting is a personal choice, really. They say that with Baby # 1, everything is a trial-and-error. Parents usually feel anxious and would do everything for their firstborn. But when Baby # 2 comes, parents are more relaxed. They have learned and survived parenting the first time, so the second time around they know what to do. This is how I feel with Fourdee now. I still plan on doing attachment parenting with him/her, but not a straijacket kind of AP - more of a sweater kind of AP. I'll take it off once it becomes too hot for us.

And Fourdee wants to say hi!

Bleeding and Breeding

There has been so much expression of outrage over the death of 17-year-old Kian de los Santos. His untimely demise as reported by witnesses and as captured by CCTV has made everyone conscious that in the Philippines, no one is no longer safe. Kian could have been your grandson, your neighbor, your brother, or you. Anyone could just catch a bullet in his head because hey, it's our country's war on drugs. There are bound to be casualties. 

And I am now wondering about the kind of people our country is breeding. I am one of the thousand Filipinos who are now living in fear (even though I am currently based abroad) because I have loved ones back home who might become another Kian (God forbid). The line, "Hindi ka papatayin kung hindi ka naman nag da-drugs" no longer applies. If I am this scared even though geographically speaking we are from a safe distance, how much more of the families of the victims who were killed since the great President sat in power? What fear their parents, spouses, and children must be facing right now.

We are breeding citizens who in the future will be paralyzed with fear because they thought the firecrackers outside sound just like gunshots. We are raising our children to become desensitized to deaths caused by stray bullets, 'police mistakes'-so-please-forgive-them, and riding in tandem murders. Our young ones will grow up thinking that a president who curses and who orders killings is a normal fixture in the great grand scheme of things. They too, will take up their parents' guns for protection or maybe in support of the government's war on drugs because, after all this is a cause worth fighting for.

But no, we will not allow such things to happen. Because we, the so-called 'young once' are burning with anger. And anger is the enemy of apathy.

If Kian's death will not wake you up from your apathy and bigotry, what else will? Don't wait for that bullet to get you or your loved ones. No one is safe. No one.

#justiceforkian