The Pros and Cons of Attachment Parenting

Attachment Parenting or AP by definition is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods which aims to promote the attachment of mother and infant not only by maximal maternal empathy and responsiveness but also by continuous bodily closeness and touch (Wikipedia). It encourages parents to breastfeed, co-sleep, and babywear.

Even while I was pregnant, the decision to breastfeed, co-sleep, and babywear Thirdy when he eventually comes out came naturally for me (http://angmaestra.blogspot.sg/2015/05/mommy-plans.html). I didn't have qualms about it, and I thought it was the best option for my firstborn (I still do). But a toddler has different needs from an infant. Thirdy is now an active 2-year-old as well as a soon-to-be-Manong. As of writing this, I am 16 weeks pregnant, and although I would still like to AP Thirdy and Fourdee (that's the bun in the oven's nickname), I am re-evaluating my stance on breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearing.

1) Breastfeeding

Go public! Breastfeeding at Richmonde Hotel swimmimg pool area

PROS

There is no question that breastfeeding is the best option for your baby - it is safe, convenient, cheap, and downright healthy. I can attest to this because I have been breastfeeding Thirdy since he was born, and he never got sick to the point where he needed to be hospitalized. Sure, he got the occasional sniffles, fever, and cough but thank God, it never went beyond that. I have to give credit to my breastmilk for boosting his immune system. In addition to that, we didn't go through the trouble of buying baby bottles, filtered water (which can be contaminated), and formula milk during his first two years.

CONS

The weaning is the tough part. As per doctor's advice, I should wean Thirdy. Plus, I do not think I can handle tandem breastfeeding when Fourdee comes out eventually. But when you have been co-sleeping and breastfeeding since Day 1, weaning is going to be a struggle.

Also, formula milk has been given a bad rap. But there have been many instances where FM has saved many a baby's lives. When Thirdy turned 1, his height and weight plateaued. He was almost 2 when his pediatrician said we have to start on formula milk because his height and weight are on the borderline of falling behind his age. I was resistant because for me formula milk was the evil's spawn. Looking back now, I should have started on FM when he turned 1 or 1 1/2. He is very small, and I sometimes feel insecure when I see him playing with other children who are bigger but younger than he is. I have to blame our genes for his small stature because we, his parents are also very cute. So, we should have started mixed-feeding at least earlier.


2) Co-sleeping

I only sleep when I'm rocked because I'm a rockstar, Mom.

PROS

I love cuddling up with my little boy. When you're breastfeeding, it's perfectly convenient to co-sleep because when the little one is hungry, all you have to do is bare the boob and he'll be fine. Your baby also gets to be familiar with Mom and Dad's smell and warmth, and he will know early on that he is loved.

CONS

Sleep training is going to be a challenge when you have been co-sleeping since Day 1. Your child won't go to sleep without you around. That's our concern with Thirdy. Aside from that, he has been used to being carried and rocked just so he could go to sleep (blame my Mom). He is quite heavy now. Also, my tummy is getting bigger everyday, so carrying him can be a pain in the neck (literally) and the back.

When he was still an infant, well-meaning relatives warned us not to rock him all the time as he will get used to it. But I thought, babies NEED to be rocked because they are helpless, tiny human beings, and they need warmth, love, protection, etc. I forgot that tiny human beings also grow big and heavy. With Fourdee, I think we will heed our relatives' advice.

Also, I personally think that a child should have his own bedroom by the time he goes to primary/elementary school at least. This will teach him about personal space and independence. Plus, there's no danger of coming across Mom or Dad naked or Mom and Dad doing 'it'.


3) Babywearing

kangaroo carrier

SaYa wrap

PROS

Your hands are free when you carry your baby around like an 'ati.' And just like co-sleeping, it makes your baby feel warm and secure.

CONS

You'll have pain around your waist once your baby gets the extra weight. I stopped babywearing when Thirdy turned 1 and 1/2. With Fourdee, I'll probably stick with the stroller once he/she hits that age, too.


In conclusion, Attachment Parenting is a personal choice, really. They say that with Baby # 1, everything is a trial-and-error. Parents usually feel anxious and would do everything for their firstborn. But when Baby # 2 comes, parents are more relaxed. They have learned and survived parenting the first time, so the second time around they know what to do. This is how I feel with Fourdee now. I still plan on doing attachment parenting with him/her, but not a straijacket kind of AP - more of a sweater kind of AP. I'll take it off once it becomes too hot for us.

And Fourdee wants to say hi!