My aunt once told me that praises and criticisms don't do anything to you. She told me this after a colleague whom I thought all these years was an angel, gave me such a whipping of nasty criticisms during the day of the Prom that its stinging venom left me weak and dazed weeks after the cotillion and all the JS brouhaha had already long gone.
My aunt's remark surprised me. She is, after all a psychologist and my own studies of the human psyche led me to believe that praise can actually do a lot of things to the ego. The same is true with criticisms.
I guess now I understand what she means. If we know ourselves well enough, I don't think we need praises from others nor criticisms. If we know where we're standing and and evaluate our own strengths and weaknesses, then we don't need validation from others.
What I picture out is a balloon. When there's no air inside it, it's lifeless, shrunken, and wrinkled. It will never give joy to anyone who holds it. When we criticize someone, they become like this kind of balloon. That is because they allow one needle of criticism to poke through it. On the other hand, if you're full of air, there's a big possibility that you'll fly away and forget that you're not supposed to be up there in the clouds. Praises can do this to you.
I think the key here is balance and a good dose of self-knowledge. If I know myself enough, I don't have to feel bad when criticized nor feel extreme bliss when praised. See, I don't need to be a balloon because I can just be myself.
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I finished Neil Gaiman's the Graveyard Book tonight and the ending made me a wee bit sad. I was surprised that the author is a Newbery awardee!
"Face your life
Its pain, its pleasure,
Leave no path untaken."
This book's trying to tell me something about praises and criticisms in some way. Special thanks to my sweet little sister in Christ, Gabby Moralidad for lending me her book.
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