Psych Me Up

I started my Ph.D degree last 2010 but I haven't checked any of my grades so far. I just checked them awhile ago and I was so happy that I got a flat 1.0 in my Abnormal Psychology! It gave me an extra boost to finish this degree. After I checked my grades, one of my teachers/colleagues called to inform me that she'll give me a Psychology 101 load this first semester. I'm floating somewhere in the clouds now. I can't wait! I'm going to handle two of my passions - Psychology and Literature this schoolyear 2013. I won't fail my teacher. I'll do my best, oh yes, I will.

Six Degrees of Separation

The American band The Script gave a new take on Frigyes Karinthy's theory of Six Degrees of Separation by categorizing it as a break-up song. Originally, the theory says that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction from any other person in the world so that a chain of "a friend of a friend"  statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps (Wikepedia). Ever wonder how you and your new Facebook friend has at least one or more mutual friend? The Six Degrees of Separation explains that.

The Script on the other hand used it as the six steps of getting separated from one's lover after a break-up. This song speaks true of what happens in most break-ups. Just listen to the song in this link: The Script's Six Degrees of Separation. Enjoy!

It's All in the Graveyard

My aunt once told me that praises and criticisms don't do anything to you. She told me this after a colleague whom I thought all these years was an angel, gave me such a whipping of nasty criticisms during the day of the Prom that  its stinging venom left me weak and dazed weeks after the cotillion and all the JS brouhaha had already long gone.

My aunt's remark surprised me. She is, after all a psychologist and my own studies of the human psyche led me to believe that praise can actually do a lot of things to the ego. The same is true with criticisms.

I guess now I understand what she means. If we know ourselves well enough, I don't think we need praises from others nor criticisms. If we know where we're standing and and evaluate our own strengths and weaknesses, then we don't need validation from others.

What I picture out is a balloon. When there's no air inside it, it's lifeless, shrunken, and wrinkled. It will never give joy to anyone who holds it. When we criticize someone, they become like this kind of balloon. That is because they allow one needle of criticism to poke through it. On the other hand, if you're full of air, there's a big possibility that you'll fly away and forget that you're not supposed to be up there in the clouds. Praises can do this to you.

I think the key here is balance and a good dose of self-knowledge. If I know myself enough, I don't have to feel bad when criticized nor feel extreme bliss when praised. See, I don't need to be a balloon because I can just be myself.

*********************************************************************************

I finished Neil Gaiman's the Graveyard Book tonight and the ending made me a wee bit sad. I was surprised that the author is a Newbery awardee!

"Face your life 
Its pain, its pleasure, 
Leave no path untaken."

This book's trying to tell me something about praises and criticisms in some way. Special thanks to my sweet little sister in Christ, Gabby Moralidad for lending me her book.

Globe Telecom Technician Incident Report

April 15, 2013

THE MANAGER

Globe Telecom, Inc.

SM City

Mandurriao, Iloilo City

Dear Sir:

Greetings!

I would like to address my concern regarding one of your technicians whose ill-manners and unpleasant attitude have marred my perception towards Globe Telecom employees, specifically towards the Internet technicians.

I am saddened that I was not able to get his complete name, but I am sure that you have a complete record of your employees and the clients that they had catered to. He is about 5’2 in height, medium-built, probably in his 40’s, and has a distinct skin allergy on his hand (I cannot remember if it’s left or right). If I will be shown his picture, I will definitely recognize him right away.

This technician has offended me on two separate occasions.

The first time was May of last of year (I can no longer remember the exact date, but I trust you have a record of it) when I had my Internet connected. My landlord did not allow him to connect the cables to my room through a shorter route; thus, he needed about two more meters of cable, more than that of what is supposed to be the required length mandated by the company. He told me that I will be charged for the extra cable and it will appear in my bill the next month.

I did not expect the extra payment so I asked a friend who used to work in Globe and he told me that there is no payment for anything else.

With that answer from my friend, I asked the technician if he can give me an approximate amount. He replied that it’s going to be quite expensive, that is of course, if he is going to report it. He gave me another option. He will not report the extra cable and all I have to do is give him an amount and I’ll be off the hook. I asked again how much I’ll be giving him. He said ‘biskan pila lang da ihatag mo a.’

At this point, I knew that the technician’s simply fishing for a tip, so I played along with his game. I said I’ll give him money for his troubles. But I was greatly irritated by his manners because even if he didn’t mention anything about an extra payment, I would still give him a tip.

When they were done with the connection, I handed him a plastic of fruits (freshly-picked tambis), but he condescendingly refused by saying, ‘Indi na a.’ His younger assistant, however appreciatively got the fruits from me and said thank you. When I gave him my ‘tip’ of P200.00, he pocketed it straight away without looking back.

That was my first encounter of this rude technician.

The second time was last April 6, 2013. I didn’t have an Internet connection for two days and he was once again the one who facilitated the connection. This time he had a different assistant.

After checking my modem, they went out and came back after about 20 minutes. He asked if I had load because he didn’t have load anymore and he still needed to call somebody in the office. I said I didn’t have enough load for a phone call. He replied that he’s just going to text. Thinking that he needed to communicate with someone regarding my connection, I reluctantly gave him my cellphone but I ended up texting for him because his assistant didn’t know how to type through touchscreen. His text went something like this (it’s quite hazy in my memory now): Tawgi na si Manok or Patawga na si Manok.

When the connection was ok and when they were bidding their goodbyes already, I overheard him ask his assistant, “May load ka da? Ma text ko.” His assistant gave him his phone. After a minute, they came back to check my modem again. The rude technician was talking to somebody on the phone. The assistant told me that somebody from Manila wanted to talk to me. The caller was a woman who wanted to know the details of the connection. One of the questions was, “Naka proper uniform po ba ang mga technicians?” The assistant was in his proper uniform while the rude one was not. He gave a thumbs-up sign to me and I resignedly answered, “Opo, nakaproper uniform po sila.”

Well, how could I say no? The loudspeaker was turned on and he could hear our conversation. I felt that I owe him so I didn’t give him a negative feedback. He’s not just rude, he’s also quite tricky.

With that, I believe that this technician deserves a disciplinary action for the following reasons:

1. He demanded an extra payment from me even if it wasn’t stipulated in any way that I will be paying extra for the connection. What he did was just plain bribery.

2. I find it improper that he’ll use my phone. Why did he have to use my ‘load’ by using my cellphone when his assistant also had a loaded cellphone? (Feeling close?)

3. I believe that as a client, I need to give my feedbacks of the service in private, free from influence of any kind. I find it improper that he turned on the loudspeaker of his phone so he could eavesdrop over my feedbacks and over the questions of the evaluator.

I wrote this letter because two incidents are enough for me to prove that this man’s ill-manners do not give a positive image to your company. I believe that I wasn’t his only victim. In fact, when I posted in my FB status about the incident, two of my friends expressed the same sentiments about Globe technicians (I like to believe that we encountered the same technician).

I hope that my letter be given a positive response and I also hope that I’ll no longer encounter this kind of technician in the future.

Thank you in advance and more power to Globe Telecom, Inc.!

Truly yours,

 (sgd.)

VAN KRISTINE L. MENDOZA

Globe Subscriber

Summer Break? What's That?

Earn as much as I can.

That's one of my goals this year. It's ranked twelfth out of my thirteen things-I-should-do for 2013. By earning as much meant extra work so I'll get extra pay. I should have heeded that adage which says that I should be careful with what I ask for because it might come true.

I was hoping that this months of April and May, I'll be staying at home and just laze around, do some serious writing, and pursue other hobbies. But, I was invited to teach summer class because no one else will take the load. My class is from 10:30 AM-5:30 PM with a one hour break in between. I'm teaching Children's Literature which is a first-time class for me, so no there are no powerpoint presentations that I could just rehash.  That means I'm spending a lot of time making my slides and also studying my lessons.

My weekend also isn't free. My colleague asked me to help her teach the online Long Distance class which will be a three-hour session every Saturday afternoon. Sure, I'll just spend three hours in front of the computer but my lesson preparation is going to be longer than three hours. I know it's going to eat much of my time.

Then, next month I'll be handling a two-week teaching class in Calinog campus which is again another preparation for me.

On top of that, I have my online night classes every weeknights. I also have action researches to edit.

I wonder why I'm doing this to myself. I'm not even financially supporting or helping anyone. It's just me, myself, and I. Really, I need more rest than money. The problem with me is that I can't seem to say no when someone asks me to teach this or that.

I guess, I'll just have to wait for another summer before I can do serious writing and do my other hobbies.

Who says teachers are lucky because they have summer breaks?!

Agony Hill

          I first heard of the word “Panata” and witnessed it all at the same time when I was in college. My classmate and I were 15 minutes early for a Mass and as soon as we arrived in church, a harmless decrepit woman dressed in white caught our attention. She was doing the Way of the Cross in her brown and wrinkled bare feet. When the congregation stood for the entrance of the priest, I was surprised to see her parading behind the good father, her hands solemnly clasped in prayer and her eyes fixed on the cross by the altar. She kept her distance from the priest by standing a few meters away, but when he delivered his sermon, she stood behind him again, all the while bobbing her head up and down in agreement to whatever the priest said. It was a peculiar sight: she, an old woman who could probably only speak and understand Hiligaynon agreeing to the Irish Reverend whose English had been garbled by the flawed acoustics of the church. Since most churches in Iloilo are frequented by the most bizarre worshippers, I dismissed her as another “buang.” My friend however, explained that she’s simply doing her panata.

          My poor grasp of Tagalog never made me think that the word has something to do with vows as in Panatang Makabayan. I later discovered, though that the word has a religious significance and the examples border from the simple like lighting a candle before the Virgin Mary on one’s birthday to the extreme like crucifixion and self-flagellation during Holy Week. I could not find a seemly equivalent Hiligaynon word for it, but it is synonymous to the “Panaad” of Cebuano which means ‘act of promise.’

            I would like to share to you how I made my own panata. Just like the old woman, mine is also doing the Way of the Cross, though not on my bare feet because mine involves climbing a mountain with a rather browbeating name - Agony Hill. For six years now, my faithful trek to Agony Hill on a Holy Thursday has become my spiritual retreat, a purging of the soul as I endured the summer heat and a yearning of the heart as I offered petitions. Because of these, the mountain has become my friend, a silent witness to my struggles of rising and falling and rising again.

             Six years ago, I first climbed the mountain after making the most liberating decision of not continuing my teaching contract in a Chinese school. I was no longer happy with my work so when March came, I felt freer than any of the graduates. I was still high on the feeling of being emancipated from schoolwork that I jumped at every chance of getting invited to go anywhere, thus, I ended up going with my roommate to Agony Hill, a rolling valley towering over the quaint town of Alimodian 25 km off of Iloilo City.

         For many years, Agony Hill had been cleared to serve the faithfuls in their Via Crucis during Cuaresma. To make the penitential rite more meaningful for the visitors, the local government of the town and the parish church erected huge imitations of each station of the Way of the Cross.

           As soon as I was greeted by icons of the first station, I whispered my petitions. I was in between jobs, so not knowing where my next paycheck will come from, I prayed that I be given a job that will financially get me by. When I reached the summit, I stood before the giant cross, invisibly opened my chest and laid forth all the desires of my heart. Suffice it to say that when June came, I was given not only a teaching job in my alma mater but to my surprise, I was also given a person to love. And so, my panata of climbing Agony Hill every Holy Week came into existence. I’ve also learned to love the mountain not so much for the expiation of my sins nor for the request of favors, but for the sheer joy of climbing it.

          My 2009 visit of the mountain was the most blissful climb that I did. I hiked Agony Hill with the person whom I thought was the One. We did the obligatory Way of the Cross, but my eyes were set on him and him alone. That time, I had a job that thoroughly gave me professional pride and I was secure in the arms of this man. What could go wrong?

           My climb the next year gave me that answer. Around February 2010, our differences took a toll in the relationship that I decided to end it. But for old time’s sake, I asked him that we climb Agony Hill again hoping somehow that we could piece back our broken hearts together. He did accompany me, but we no longer held hands and the conversations were punctuated by awkward silence. Still, I hoped and prayed that our relationship be given a second chance.

             By 2011, I was still in denial and I was still longing for the man who once trailblazed Agony Hill with me. With a heavy heart, I trekked the mountain with some colleagues. Again, I stood by the giant cross and prayed that he be given back to me.

             My prayer wasn’t granted.

             Last year, I’ve finally accepted the fact we’re no longer going to climb mountains together. Trekking Agony Hill with the colleagues who became good friends, I realized that it was I who was given the second chance - a chance to meet other people, to discover my passions, and to love myself again.

             This year, I’ll once again scale Agony Hill on a Holy Thursday with friends and I’ll continue to do so up until these able knees will allow me. It has, after all become my panata. But perhaps I’ll invite that guy who gave me flowers last Valentine’s Day to join us. And before the giant cross, I’ll once again send my petitions to the heavens, but this time like the old woman, I’ll be clasping my hands in prayer and I’ll be fixing my eyes on Him and only on Him. 

Agony Hill, 2012

Agony Hill, 2011

Agony Hill 2010

My ex was the one who took my 2009 Agony Hill photos. I'd rather die than ask for copies.

Agony Hill, 2008

THEIR STORY, OUR STORY

“The Four-Way Test: Peace Through Service”

           A long time ago, famine struck a land where two brothers worked as farmers. The younger brother thought that since his older brother had a bigger family, he needed more rice. And so at night he secretly carried one sack of rice to his brother’s storehouse. To the younger brother’s surprise the next day, he still had the same sacks of rice as he had before he carried one to his brother. So that night he set out again to bring his secret offering when he bumped into his older brother carrying also a sack of rice. The two brothers wept after realizing that both had thought of doing the same thing. That is, carry a sack of rice to each other’s storehouse with the thought that one needs it more.

          Ladies and gentleman, this is one folktale that clearly sends a universal message that when we think more of others and less of ourselves, we find a greater gift in our relationships and within ourselves, the gift of peace. But is peace really born out of service?

          Today, I am given the task of scrutinizing the phrase “peace through service.” And I will do this by putting it under the magnifying glass of the Four-Way Test. The questions are as follows: Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships? And will it be beneficial to all concerned?

          My dear friends, we all love to hear stories. Stories about triumphs of the human spirit amidst trials and tribulations have clearly been sources of inspiration. There is no other powerful example than a man’s life story to prove a point. Therefore, the four ethical questions that will be posed to me today shall be answered through the names of these notable men whose works of peace through service have forever been etched in the history of mankind.

          First, is it the truth? Mahatma Gandhi’s name echoes resoundingly to answer this question as his optimism led him to believe that all throughout history, the way of truth had always been won. He found truth through nonviolence, thus his efforts paid for the freedom of his country, India from the British rule. His philosophy of passive resistance transcended religious and political ideologies. We can win a person not through the way of violence but through the way of love, sacrifice, and service. His truth also became our truth.

          Second, is it fair to all concerned? Hasn’t Martin Luther King, Jr. exemplified this enough? His tireless service to end racism and discrimination in the U.S through peace efforts may have cost him his life but it started a movement that empowered the black community, thus encouraged the U.S government to abolish laws in black and white segregation. Peace through service transcends the color of our skin, the differences in our faith, abilities, and social background.

          Third, will it build goodwill and better friendships? Oskar Schindler, a German businessman saved thousands of Jews from the atrocities of Hitler during World War II by letting them work in his factory. When after the war he became bankrupt, the Jews in his ‘Schindler’s List’ - the Jews he helped, financially supported him and his family. Peace through service creates an effect of kindness and gratitude that ripples far beyond our own lives.

          Lastly, will it be beneficial to all concerned? Benigno Aquino’s struggle to bring back democracy to his country cost him his life but it gained back the freedom of the Filipinos against Martial Law. One cannot deny the fact that this man’s peace efforts have benefitted and will benefit the many generations of Filipinos.

          My dear friends, these are stories of ordinary men who made such extraordinary actions and because of that they became the movers and shakers of this world. We are no different from these men. We have in our hands the key to peace and that is through service.

          Let me go back to the folktale of two brothers I have narrated in the beginning. It was said that not long after, a church was built on the same spot where the brothers bumped into each other. It was because they couldn’t think of a holier place than that spot where the selfless act of service was exhibited. Ladies and gentlemen, may you let your every standing ground be a holy place of service. Act now!

A piece I wrote for Jeiya Nicole de Castro which won 1st runner-up during the 30th Rotary Four-Way Test Oratorical Contest held in Red Cross Building Bonifacio Drive La Paz, Iloilo City on February 8, 2013.