The Reader

I hope you'll grow up to be a reader, my son!

(Thirdy @ 4 weeks)

Letting Go

It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. I have been toying around with the idea for several days before I decided to just do it.

I have decided to give away my books -- my precious ones. Before I got married, my books were my best friends. I could just stay inside my room and snuggle up in bed with one of my books and the whole world could just pass by. Giving them away never occurred to me that time. In fact, I kept accumulating them even though I didn't have much time to read them. When I got married, and moved in to a new apartment, I brought them along of course (much to my minimalist husband's annoyance). We put them in a balikbayan box and placed it in a corner, where I have almost forgotten about it.

I blame it on the heavy downpour. If not for it and our dilapidated ceiling, the box wouldn't have gotten wet, and my husband wouldn't have removed the books so they wouldn't entirely get wet and smell. This happened about 2 weeks after I had the baby. The books were stacked in our room because we didn't have a place to put them. When I realized that it was completely unhygienic for the books to stay there because they've started to gather dust, I knew they all had to go somehow.

But parting with your books is like breaking up with your lover. You mull over it for sometime and then you just DO it because you know that it's good for you, you deal with the heartbreak, then (the best part) you just move on.

The books shouldn't just go to anyone, though. I'll feel relieved knowing that my 'best friends' will go to people whom I know will take care of them. Posting the books pictures in FB was a good idea. I decided not to sell them because it's my way of paying back for the good things that I have received, so far. Just a few seconds after I posted the books in an album "Pre-loved Books for Free," many of my good friends sent me a message that they'd would like to have this and that book. I am happy knowing that the books will be in good hands somehow.

You feel a melancholy every time you part ways with a loved one. That's how it has been for me every time I hand over a book to its new owner. This may sound like I have a post-partum depression (I don't), but I felt quite sad when people showed their interest to have my books. When they came over to get the book, however, there was a part of me that was relieved and happy that the book will finally say goodbye to me.

I could have chosen to keep my books, but with the baby around, I know that I don't have much time for reading anyway. Besides, I have been a bookworm for so long that I think it's time to meet real people instead of just meeting the imaginary ones in a book. Without the books around, perhaps I could give more time to my relationships and improve them, too. Also, I now have a husband a baby to snuggle up with in bed - and the books, well, they can just say goodbye.

It's high time that someone else read you, too.

August

My husband left for Singapore tonight after 5 weeks of leave (2 weeks work from home, 2 weeks paternity/vacation leave, 1 week leave extension). He was with me from the time I was about to give birth until our little one turned 4 weeks (today). It's the first time that we lived together for a looong time. Our longest prior to this was during our wedding which was 2 weeks. So this month of August has been so much of an adjustment. I realized that we're still really getting to know each other as a couple. Parenthood is also new to us, so everything's been trial and error with Thirdy.

Right now, all I want is just to get an uninterrupted sleep.

The Great Escape

Have you heard of that quote from Maya Angelou? "I've learned that people forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

I think the same is true for travelling. When you get to a foreign country or place, what you will remember most is not so much the landmark or the people but the feeling that the sights and sounds have evoked in you. 

 HK 

CBD

VN

MC

SG

But perhaps, now that I have a son, every time I travel (with him), I'll care about his feelings more than my own. Is he enjoying? Is he uncomfortable? Where else would he like to go? Is he learning? 

My son, I'd like you to explore the world. 

Mommyhood

It's been 1 week and 1 day since I gave birth to my little boy, Thirdy. I gave birth last Aug. 3 at exactly 3:30 in the morning. It was along labor for me, and I almost had to go through a C-section but I am so blessed because everything was normal for both me and the baby. I had a normal vaginal delivery and because of that, I was already up and about 5 hours after I gave birth. I didn't have any complications and I am thankful that the baby was also free from infections even though I caught the flu one week before I was due. If I had the C-section, most likely the baby would still be in the hospital by now (C-section babies have greater risk of getting infections) and I'd probably be still lying on bed like an invalid because of the surgery. We went home Aug. 4 - just one day after I gave birth.

I am happy because even if I wasn't able to print out a birth plan and give it to the delivery room staff, I was able to have the Unang Yakap - a process of letting your baby latch on your breast right after he comes out of you, and I was able to breastfeed right away (3 hours after) - activities I definitely couldn't have done if I had to go thru C-section. They didn't give him any formula milk which I'm really thankful for because I intend to breastfeed for 6 months.

Right now, I'm wearing maternity pads because my uterus is still getting back into shape (through the help of breastfeeding). But I could feel that I'm recovering quite fast. I only have light bleeding now. Having Thirdy around is a big adjustment. He could be demanding that right now I'm typing this with one hand only. He wants to be held all the time and if he isn't sleeping or pooping, he's taking charge of both my breasts. My biological clock has also changed because of his erratic feeding patterns especially at night.

Mommyhood could be very exhausting, but hey, I'm not complaining.

38th Week

Today is Thirdy's 38th week. At least I can now be assured that he won't come out prematurely. If he would like to come out anytime this week or even today, I am confident that he will survive because he is full term already. But I am hoping that he will not come out not until he has reached his 39th week because according to what I have read, 39th-40th week is the most ideal time to give birth. Every week that the baby spends inside the mother's womb counts a lot in its brain development. Also, I would like his Dada to be around when I give birth. He'll come home on July 25th and that's only 6 days more to go. Thirdy's due date according to my last menstrual period (LMP) is still Aug. 3, but I don't mind if he'll come out on the last week of July as long as Dada's around already. It would also be nice if he decides to make Aug.7 or 8 his birthday because Aug. 7 is also Dada's birthday and Aug. 8 is a significant date for us as a couple - it's the first time we were formally introduced.

I've been dreaming and fantasizing about Thirdy for the last 9 months. 2 more weeks and I'll get to meet him. I feel that my nesting instinct is starting to kick in. I've been itching to get rid of my mother's tacky knicknacks so I could rearrange the house to accommodate a newborn. I'm also dying to clean the service area. As of now, I still have things to do in school before I take a maternity leave so I hope to start 'nesting' only after I'm done with what I need to do in school.

I miss doing non-pregnant activities like:

1. Eating sweets every single day! I've been controlling my sugar intake ever since I found out I have polyhydramnios (one sign of gestational diabetes) on my 7th month, but thank God I don't have that at all. Still, I've been cautious about what I take. I do give in to my sweet tooth occasionally and when I do, I'm on 7th heaven.

2. Jogging around Sports Complex

This morning as I took a walk around the block, I saw a guy jogging and it hit me that I haven't jogged for 9 months now. Sure, I've done my daily walks last summer vacation, but jogging exercise feels more invigorating. After I give birth, I'll get rid of my 'baby fats' by jogging around the subdivision.

3. Shopping

I miss buying non-pregnant dresses and shoes. I've been sticking to about 7 maternity dresses for schoolwear and to one pair of shoes to accommodate my swollen feet. But to be honest, being pregnant has helped me live frugally.

4. Pampering

I'd like to go to the spa and avail of the package with sauna, body scrub and whole body massage. But pregnant women cannot enter a sauna because the hot temperature will do harm than good to the baby. I'd also like to get a pedicure. I've been avoiding this one to avoid the risk of getting wound infections.

I know that after I give birth, I still can't go back to these activities because I have to be with my baby around the clock. It will even be a miracle if I'd still have the chance to look at the mirror and comb my hair. But who cares? As long as I've got milk, my baby won't care about the way I look.

Well, see you soon Thirdy Boo!

Poem XII

I used to buy everything and anything I want,

without any thought or care.

"I have my salary, I have my job,"

I told myself. "Nothing could go wrong..." 

Then, I became so careless.

I incurred more than I could pay,

and neglected my responsibilities.

Now, I have no choice.

Frugal living is a must.