Beyond '9 and Beyond'

In order for a relationship, an organization, and an enterprise to thrive, it must have its end in mind. It must have that clear-cut purpose - it must answer that WHY. With this, it is no wonder that the breastfeeding advocacy group Breastfeeding Ilonggas (BFI) is thriving and is increasing in its members’ number. I have been a part of this group since 2015 when I got pregnant with my first child, Thirdy and it had been of great help in giving me the information and the motivation to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months of my firstborn’s life. The breastfeeding extended to two years and I only stopped when I got pregnant with my second baby, Bambam. Bam is now 2-months-old and also exclusively breastfed. I am still a member of BFI, and I have since also taken breastfeeding as personal advocacy. I share about breastfeeding and its many benefits to pregnant moms I know every chance I get, and I no longer feel as inhibited when I breastfeed in public. My heartfelt gratitude goes out to Lusay Cabrera-Dellosa and Myra Ortega-Goco for inviting me in this group and to  Adhara Alcudia Sebuado for teaching me how to properly breastfeed. The moms behind BFI have done so much to empower and educate mothers in Iloilo City not only about breastfeeding but also about their rights. They have even valiantly stood up against Joe Da Turd. Seriously, these ladies deserve an award from the city. If you are pregnant or a new mom, join this group. Just search Breastfeeding Ilonggas in Facebook, join, and wait for the admin to approve your membership.

The moms behind BFI are also the same moms behind the first mother and child advocate center in Iloilo City, aptly called 9 and Beyond. It serves as a lactation clinic for Adhara who is by the way, the only lactation consultant in Iloilo City. It is also a venue for classes that promotes wellness and environmental consciousness for the whole family like eco-crafting, calligraphy, kid’s yoga, urban gardening, and the like. Furthermore, it is a mommy and baby essentials store. Aside from breastfeeding, they have also taken social entrepreneurship as their advocacy as they outsource products from small and local entrepreneurs.

9 and Beyond is located on the 2^nd floor of Galleria Complex in Jalandoni St. Jaro. I am writing about this store because going there is a treat for me. When I was in high school, I would often go to the stationary store of Iloilo Supermart (Jaro) and get lost in the aisles of assorted colorful papers, pens, and other knick knacks – being an arts and crafts girl that I was, this already made me happy. Going to 9 and Beyond gives me a similar feeling, except that I am now a mom of two and no longer have the luxury of getting ‘lost’. So, it’s helpful that this store is just a stone’s throw away from our place. Also, for someone who rarely goes out to shop, I find it convenient that I am alerted with new stocks thru FB before I head out to the center. This store is for everyone, not just for moms, so if you are around the city, drop by at this place. For more information, you may also call their number 517 6636 or visit their Facebook page 9 and Beyond.

Because I drop by here often, these are the services/classes I joined and the products I purchased.

SERVICES

I attended the Batch 6 of the Breastfeeding and Birthing Preparation class.

(7 months pregnant with Bambam here)

Picture grabbed from 9 and Beyond FB page

I attended the 1st Batch of Newborn Care.

(1 week postpartum with Bambam)

Picture grabbed from 9 and Beyond FB page

Something for new parents to ponder on. YOUR BABIES DO NOT NEED WALKERS.

I tried the lactation massage.

(7 weeks postpartum with Bambam)

Picture grabbed from 9 and Beyond FB page

PRODUCTS

BOOKS

Thirdy's book of the moment is Go, Dog. Go! of Beginner Books.

Books are supplied by Book Over Gadgets.

We bought three (we gave the other one as a birthday gift).

BIBS

Bambam, my cutie model wears a bib from EcoSnuggles

(I love the print)

This reversible bib is also from EcoSnuggles.

BREASTFEEDING DRESS

I'm wearing a boyfriend dress that is breastfeeding friendly. 

You can match it with a pair of shorts or leggings.

I can easily pull out the boob when Bambam is hungry. 

This dress is from Ellie & Me and it comes in three colors (pink, grey, and blue).

TEA

I can vouch for this one.

If you want to increase your milk supply, drink once a day or once every two days 

of this malunggay, okra and ginger concentrate.

TOYS

Wooden animals from Acqua Bambino - this one was given as a gift by Tita Ditas.

BABYWEAR

Ring sling and breastfeeding dress are both from EcoSnuggles

Contents of this paperbag is from 9 and Beyond. It's a birthday gift to my sister-in-law.

Photo grabbed from Felinor Naira Villa's Fb account.

Other items I have been buying are the kamote chips from M2, which I usually consume right away, so I don't have a picture to show here, and a charcoal soap from Highgenics.

Who knows what these awesome moms behind BFI and 9 and Beyond will do next? Whatever it is, I am sure they will go beyond and reach out and extend their services to more people and not just moms. That is because they know what their WHY is.

MILK by Noemi Weis

When a baby arrives to this world it brings us great emotion. We know that we are bringing a new life into this world. It is a victory.

Noemi Weis’ moving documentary begins with this message from an Argentinean palteira (midwife). In the film’s website, Weiss shared that working in the human rights field, she was inclined to examine the beginning of life. She first started with the idea of infant feeding because it is our first food. She said she could not talk about infant feeding without talking about birth, thus the film shows cliché yet realistic scenes of women giving birth naturally or thru Caesarean section. The subjects of the film are from different continents, but all share a common role – motherhood. Because of the film’s movement from one country to the next, from a French mother of three to an American pregnant teenager, from a mystical mountain in Argentina to a concrete jungle of Washington D.C., from an upscale hospital corridor to a shanty in the Philippines, it might feel like riding a bus while looking at the passing images. You know where to go and what to expect, but the dizzying speed makes you want to look the other way.

Weis knows where she’s standing and as a filmmaker she tried to be objective about her purpose without being too pushy or preachy about her documentary’s message. In this film, she wanted us to see the importance of breastfeeding, but at the same time, she democratically interviewed women who also chose to use formula milk and bottle feeding. The film gave ample viewing time on the wisdom of the midwives in Argentina (Weiss’ native country), and a limited one on a C-section. In one scene, a woman shares her harrowing experience during delivery (her OB-GYN tore her amniotic sac with the use of her nail), and so we get the idea that the film also promotes natural delivery. This is perhaps understandable, as women who deliver naturally have greater chances of making their newborns latch immediately after birth, and thus breastfeed successfully. There were also some staged scenes so as to produce the desired effect.

Because of its rather scattered way of cinematic movement, one may get confused as to the direction of all these women’s narratives. Weiss may have successfully tried to stand apart from her respondents, but her film’s victory can be considered Phrygian in some areas.

But Weis is also a brilliant storyteller. She weaves each woman’s story into a beautiful tapestry of universal truth – that human milk is the best food that a woman can give to her newborn. Viewers may have taken this truth for granted for some time, but after seeing Filipina mothers feeding their infants formula milk (donations from WHO) after Typhoon Haiyan’s wrath because they thought it’s more superior than their breastmilk, one can only be appalled at the ignorance of these women. And one will also be angry at the multibillion business of formula milk as they take advantage of these poor mothers.

In a sense, Weis has achieved her purpose of educating the viewers about the international milk code, and the heartbreaking scenes of Filipino malnourished children will make you want to reach out for that Kleenex you didn’t have any intention of using before the film started.

The last scene shows a group of African tribal mothers singing joyfully. It is a shot full of wisdom, beauty, and victory for women. In essence, this is what the film Milk is trying to deliver to us, and it has succeeded.

Inside Out: A Lesson in Psychology

If the animation, Inside Out was shown to us by our college professor in Psychology 101, perhaps I would have had a stronger grasp and a clear, albeit animated (pun intended) picture of the inner workings of the brain instead of just seeing it as a white mass with the vision, tastes, memory, etc. parts.

The 2015 Pixar movie takes a daring leap by giving life to the universal emotions of joy, sadness, disgust, fear, and anger and setting it in where else, but the brain. It’s a rather risky move from Pixar’s usual personifying of animals, toys, and machines. But it has been a well-calculated move, as proven by its $90.4 million earnings at the domestic box office and $132 million in global sales. With an 11 year-old girl as its main human character trying to adjust in a new home and school and with her emotions playing such a big role in this change, we get another coming-of-age family movie… and a lesson in psychology.

The way the mind works has been cleverly engineered in this movie. Let’s take a look at Riley’s head. So we have the five emotions namely, Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger. They stay in the Headquarters where they have the upper hand of deciding on Riley’s responses for whatever stimulus is presented (for example: Dad feeds Riley broccoli, Disgust decides it’s yucky, so Riley refuses to eat it). Every experience is preserved in a ball of memory, the color of which depends on the emotion Riley felt; gold for joy, blue for sadness, green for disgust, grey for fear, and red for anger. These balls get released to the long-term memory outside the Headquarters. Then, we have the five core memories. They are the most important ones because they power the islands that represent Riley’s personality; the Goofball Island, the Hockey Island, the Friendship Island, the Honesty Island, and the Family Island. All core memories are of the color of joy, until Sadness touched one of it in an accident that brought her and Joy into the deeper recesses of Riley’s brain. As Joy and Sadness took the trek back to the headquarters, they encountered adventures that gave us some psychological and neuroscientific terms set in laymen’s cartoon.

When all five core memories were vacuumed out of the headquarters together with Joy and Sadness, all of Riley’s personality islands stopped working. From here, we could see Riley becoming rebellious as Fear, Disgust, and Anger conflict on how to best respond in their new environment without Joy to lead them. Riley’s numb-like responses gave us a glimpse of what goes on in the brain when we have that little thing called depression.

It’s interesting how the movie tried to simplify emotions and the processes of the brain by animating them. Long term memory is an endless swarm of corridors and shelves.  Mind workers throw unnecessary memories in the dump like phone numbers, names of presidents, and years of piano lessons. There were instances in the plot when they tried to take things too literally like the train of thought and the dream productions. That might seem like a misleading concept to young viewers, but it’s better than making them bored to death with too technical terms.

More than the emotions, there is Riley herself who a lot of young children can relate to. The movie with the aid of its apt musical sequence makes you understand that in life, sadness is inevitable and we have to accept, embrace it even, in order to appreciate more what it means to be happy.

Now, that’s not only just a lesson in psychology, but also a lesson in life. 

American Mistress (2015)

Have you ever experienced that strong desire to be part of something? To the point that you would do anything just to feel that sense of belongingness? American Mistress explores this visceral need from the point of view of a lonely college freshman, who just wants to be part of a literary society. It raises the bar of need higher from the perspective of a 30-year-old jane-of-all-trades who wants to open a restaurant. Mix in an unrealistic plot set in the NYC, a script full of witty lines delivered in too girlish fashion, and an infuriating background music, and you get a coming-of-age dramedy.

The movie introduces us to Tracy Fishko (Lola Kirke) who’s bland and flat voice opens the film with this line: She would say things like, “Isn’t every story a story of betrayal?” No, I thought. That’s not true. But I could never say that. I could only agree with her. It was too much fun to agree with her.

As a 1^st year college student in Barnard, she tries very hard to fit in by going to a party even though her roommate warned her it’s not for her and by submitting a fiction to the lit society called Mobius. Her efforts are not rewarded as the party turned out to be unwelcoming. She also got rejected by the lit society. She finds solace from her mother who is marrying a guy who’s daughter coincidentally also lives in New York. Her mother suggests that she meet up with her soon-to-be sister, Brooke Cardanis (Greta Gerwig), and she might as well do it soon because they will be gathering together for the first time during Thanksgiving.

When they did meet, Tracy was so enamored by Brooke that it inspired her to write another fiction with Brooke as the lead character. She tried to screen for Mobius again by passing this story. For Tracy, Brooke represents the Big Apple – fun, fearless, independent.

Although Tracy feels that Brooke is everything that she is not and that she secretly wants to be, deep inside she knows that Brooke will never amount to anything in life. Tracy at eighteen years-old has an old soul in her in contrast to the thirty year-old Brooke whose devil may care attitude has gotten her nowhere. As Tracy accompanies Brooke in looking for investors that will help her build her restaurant, she learned to be fun and fearless, too.

With these two women as central characters, one may wonder who between the two is the American Mistress. Is it the young and intellectual Tracy whose desires are eclipsed by her fears? Or is it the worldly and irrational Brooke whose well-intentioned dreams escape her because of her senselessness?

“I want the whole deal. I’ve spent my whole life chasing after things and knocking at doors, and I’m tired of running towards people. I wanna be the place that people come to. I wanna make a home for all the knockers and runners. I’m good at that. I’m happy with that. I keep the hearth. That’s a word, right? Hearth? - Brooke

Such questions can only be answered by having these female characters come to terms with the possibility of reaching or not reaching their dreams. So did Tracy make it to the lit society? Did Brooke get her restaurant? Did they get that sense of belongingness they so desire?

What they got is the sisterhood that’s unique in the plot. And more.

Fifty Shades of Light

If you are a movie or a book buff, you have most likely come across Fifty Shades of Grey already. I was given a copy of the e-book but halfway through it, I stopped reading because 1) all the main characters ever did was have hard-core (the sado-masochistic way) sex, and 2) because of # 1, I could not figure out the plot. All that explicit sex scene made me wonder about the real point of the story.

The movie came out several months ago, and I thought it was a waste of time and money to watch it since the book's genre is erotica - in movies, that is borderline pornography.

But thanks to a free movie watching site (rainiertamayo.com), I managed to watch the movie today. An FB friend said he thought the movie was depicted with more artistry than the book. True, indeed. The cameramen were all good at taking chiaroscuro shots by dimming the lights and casting a shadow on the ehem parts of the actor and the actress. The actor, played by Jamie Dornan and actress, portrayed by Dakota Johnson, however need to polish their acting chops. Dornan's portrayal of Christian Grey, a troubled multimillionaire was not convincing enough. I think he should have spent some time with men who have sexuality problems, so he could get into his role. Johnson, on the other hand lacked something I could not quite put my finger on. She played the role of Anastasia Steele, an English lit major who fell in love with Grey, and who eventually became his submissive sex slave. I am not sure if it is Johnson's personality or if it was just the way she played the role, but it gave me the impression that all English majors are helpless and stupid because they are romantics, and thus they will easily be preyed upon by sex maniacs. I almost choked on my okra because she interviewed Grey without reviewing the questions first. I mean, hello? It is an SOP to go over the questions before you interview someone. Any sensible English major should know that.

I believe there is sequel of this movie because there are three books of Fifty Shades of Grey. The plot is simple and predictable. It is similar to a modern fairy tale. Grey is the prince who has his own issues while Steele is a princess who despite her naivete, has a good heart. Grey became a sadist because he was abused as a child, and Steele allows him to do whatever he wants because she loves him so much. The ending of the movie shows Steele saying goodbye to Grey because she couldn't take him anymore, but the sequel tells me that they will be back in each other's arms and even get married.

I guess I have to give credit to E.L. James' theme here - the only redeeming point of the story which is love conquers everything. Love can take you out of the dark. Love can destroy the walls that a cold person surrounds himself with. Love can change a person into someone more lovable and loving. But of course, this is not possible if the person is not opening his heart to that someone who is willing to love him. And this is something Mr. Grey has to learn just yet.